Dear Webby: Keep old monitor? 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  December 7, 2008

We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic. --- David Russell The petty economies of the rich are just as amazing as the silly extravagances of the poor. --- William Feather
To prepare for my daughter's First Communion, I called the church in the town where we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate. We lived there for only a short while, so I didn't know the clergy well. When the secretary asked me the name of the father, I told her that I couldn't remember. After a brief silence, she said, "Ma'am, I'm talking about the name of the baby's father."
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Last Xmas, Anni was given a gift certificate from Bloomingdale's for a rather elaborate and expensive foreign made coffee-an-latte machine, by one of her admirers. It had all the latest gadgets, bells and whistles on it Knowing her propensity for getting instructions mixed up, Anni went to the store to pick it up and get some first hand instructions on the electric machines operation. The salesman carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go to bed, and upon rising, the coffee would be ready." A few weeks later Anni was back in the store and the salesman inquired as to how she liked the coffee maker. "Wonderful!" Anni replied, "However, there's one thing that really "bugs me" and I don't quite understand. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?"
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Thanks to my dad for this picture from his breakfast nook: 12/06/2008
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael E. Schwab, 52, of Blooming Grove, Texas Religious Road Rage SAN ANTONIO (UPI) -- Police in San Antonio said they arrested a man who claimed it was "Jesus's will" that he ram a woman's car because she was not "driving like a Christian." The Bexar County Sheriff's Office said in a news release that Michael Schwab, 52, told investigators he crashed his pickup truck into a woman's car at about 7:25 a.m. Friday on southbound U.S. 281 because "the other vehicle was not driving like a Christian and it was Jesus' will for him to punish the car," the San Antonio Express-News reported. "He just said God said she wasn't driving right, and she needed to be taken off the road," Sheriff's Lt. Kyle Coleman said. Sheriff's officials said Schwab told responders he was traveling faster than 100 mph when he hit the woman's car. Both vehicles sustained heavy damage as a result of the crash, but both drivers had only minor injuries. "God must have been with them, 'cause any other time, the severity of this crash, it would have been a fatal," Coleman said. Schwab was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, motor vehicle. He was jailed in lieu of $50,000 bond.
"David, what is a cannibal?" "I don't know, ma'am." "Well, if you ate your father and mother, what would you be?" "An orphan, ma'am."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Hubcap Re: Keep old monitor? Dear Webby, Regarding today's question about wide screens. I am in the market for a new computer but wasn't quite sure about the wide monitors. Should I keep my old MV 720 COMPAQ Monitor, and would it work ok with new computer? Hubcap Dear Hubcap Most definitely keep the monitor! It will work just fine with the new computer. I am writing this with an ancient HP p1130, set to 1600 x 1200. The monitor is about 4-5 years old and the plastic frame is cracked, but the picture is clear as a slide. And no fuzzy gloss slobbered over the picture, like they do nowadays with LCD monitors, to make you think it had high resolution. Have FUN! DearWebby

Felix was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into the rough. As Felix headed for the brush to find his ball, the chief warned him, "Be careful, the rattlesnakes are out." The chief explained that calls had been coming in all week requesting assistance with removing the snakes. "You've got to be kidding," Felix replied in astonishment. "People actually call the fire department to help them with rattlesnakes? What do you say to them?" "Well," said the chief, "the first thing I ask is, 'Is it on fire?'"

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Daily tip from Pasta Ornaments That's right, you can make ornaments out of pasta! You can make an angel using one large wood bead, wheel pasta for the collar, bow-tie past for the wings, elbow macaroni or the arms, rigatoni for the body and acini di pepe for the hair. Glue them together and decorate with paint. Visit ThriftyFun For Instructions With Photos Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tire alongside the highway, and pulled over to see whether he could help. The man had a very red face, and a dark smear across it where he'd wiped off sweat with dirty hands. His tie was undone and his shirt collar askew, and it was clear he had also wiped his hands on his once white shirt. Close to him stood an immaculately neat woman who was speaking in quick, agitated tones. "Hello, there," said the motorist. "Say, I've changed a lot of tires. . . maybe I can help here." "You sure can," the man with the flat tire replied wearily. "My wife is an expert, too. If you will just do all the arguing with her about how this tire ought to be changed, I can concentrate on the dirty work and get the job done."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Offbeat Uses 4 Book
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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