Dear Webby: : XP on eMachines 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  December 28, 2008

As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. --- Hagar the Horrible
Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday school. So they went to the nearest church. But only the janitor was there. One said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?" "Sure," said the janitor. He took them into the bathroom and dunked their heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time. Then he said, "Now, go out and play." When they got outside, dripping wet, one of them asked, "What religion do you think we are?" The oldest one said, "We're not Catholic, because they pour the water on you. We're not Baptist because they dunk all of you in it. We're not Methodist because they just sprinkle you." The littlest one said, "Didn't you smell that water?" "Yes. Why, what do you think that means?" "That means we're 'piscopalians."
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The preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk with a backslider of his flock, whose drinking of moonshine invariably led to quarreling with his neighbors, and occasional shotgun blasts at some of them. "Can't you see, Ben," intoned the parson, "that not one good thing comes out of this drinking?" "Well, I sort of disagree there," replied the backslider. "It makes me miss the folks I shoot at."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Walmart in Lisbon, Connecticut Bonehead Award of the YEAR [www_norwichbulletin_com] [www_sodahead_com] WalMart employee buys $1300.00 worth of $10 gift cards & hands them to shoppers as they come in the door. WalMart first accused him of stealing them (he produced the receipt) & then WalMart fired him for disrupting regular business. Last Update: 3:24 pm LISBON, Conn. ­ A man says he was told to leave a Lisbon, Connecticut Wal-Mart Saturday when employees discovered him handing out $10 gift cards to unsuspecting strangers. Barry Goldberg said he bought $1,300 worth of $10 dollar gift cards at the Wal-Mart in Lisbon and as a gesture of goodwill, he started handing them out to customers in the store lobby. “I figured let me see if I can’t make a difference in peoples’ lives, for the better,” Goldberg said. “A lot of people couldn’t believe that there’s actually people that exist in this world that are actually going to share in a random act of generosity and not look for anything in return.” After a half hour, a store manager told him to leave, Goldberg said. So he went out into the parking lot and handed them out there until he was told by store officials to leave the property . A Wal-Mart spokesman confirmed the incident, saying it was not an official "Wal-Mart promotion."
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk by again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again..?"
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Earl Re: Emachines loaded with XP Howdy Webby, Great humor letter, I have noticed E-Machines loaded with XP at Wal Mart Stores in California. Earl Dear Earl That is good news indeed! While the early eMachines were cheap junk, they have drastically improved in the last 4 years, and nowadays are generally considered better than HP/Compaq. The only problem I can see, is that there is no business entrance and no way to get standard 4:3 ratio monitors with it, only the wide screens. Personally, I am not going to lower my standards to those, to save a few bucks. However, if you still have usable standard monitors, then those XP eMachines are a great deal. Have FUN! DearWebby
A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in a long long line for judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the gates of heaven - others, though, were led over to Satan who threw them into a burning fire pit. Every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss the soul to one side in a small pile. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the better of him. So he strolled over and tapped Satan on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering why are you tossing those souls aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?" "Ah," Satan said with a grin. "Those are from Seattle ... they're too wet to burn!"

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A friend asked a gentleman why he never married. Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl." "Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry." "Yes, there was a girl... once. I guess she was the one perfect girl; the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything... I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me." "Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend. "She was looking for the perfect man."
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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