Dear Webby: Linux onto a 95 Laptop 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  January 1, 2009
Happy New year!

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. --- Lynda Barry
This guy says to his buddy, "You'll never believe what happened last night." His buddy says, "Well then, tell me what happened." The guy says, "Last night the doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch." She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?" So I said, "Of course, you can stay out there," and shut the door."
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A father was examining his son's report card. "One thing is definitely in your favor," he announced. "With results like that, you couldn't possibly be cheating."
The census taker knocked on Donna's door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age. "But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said. "Did Miss Maisy Hill, and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?" she asked. "Certainly," he replied "Well, I'm the same age as they are," she snapped. "As old as the Hills," he slowly pronounced as he wrote on his form.
Thanks to my dad for this picture: This one bloomed today!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to two German postal workers Double Theft 2 postmen in Germany were supposed to deliver a Christmas cake to a family, but feeling peckish, they ate the cake on the way. Afterwards they put its address label on another top-secret package that was supposed to be going to Germany's LBB bank in Frankfurt. The bank package contained the personal details of thousands of customers around the world who were warned that their accounts might have been compromised. But the mystery was solved when the computer discs finally turned up at the home of the family who's been expecting a Christmas cake. The police said "What a pair of idiots."
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. What'll it be?" The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains." "So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest. The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count', St. Peter?" "No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing." "In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud." "So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears. A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks. "The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult." "Why?" asketh the Lord. "He's a stud on a snow tire, somewhere in Montana."
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From the Tech Support Pits: From: Shirley Re: Installing Linux onto Windows 95 computer Happy New Year to you and your family: Your newsletter along with cream and sugar add to my morning coffee daily. Always enjoyable. I need your expertise today. My daughter gave me an older lap-top complete with Windows 95. I would like to install Linux. Do I need to erase Windows first,,,,,,,,,,,if so how would the system read the CD? Thank you in advance. Shirley Dear Shirley Just set the CD as the primary boot drive, boot up with the Linux CD in it, and it will give you a choice of running Windows and Linux side by side, or just Linux. Then it will guide you through the installation type that you have chosen. Have FUN! DearWebby
The fireman had rushed into a burning building and rescued a beautiful young lady who was clad only in the top half of her baby-doll nightgown. He carried her in his arms down three flights of stairs and four blocks all the way to his car behind the fire hall. As they arrived there, she looked at him with great admiration and said, "Oh, you are wonderful. It must have taken great strength and courage to rescue me the way you did." "Yes it did," the fireman admitted. "I had to fight off three other firemen who were trying to get to you before me."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090101@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Flour Tortilla Noodles Cut flour tortillas into strips with your pizza cutter. Use them instead of noodles when you make "Chicken and Noodles" Nobody will ever guess that they aren't "Homemade Noodles" Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

One secretary kept track of her passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. I noticed one password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long. "Because," she explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Panny Adams Photography
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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