Dear Webby: Old XP machine for business use 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  January 17, 2009


The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. --- Arthur C. Clarke If nobody spoke unless he had something to say, the human race would very soon lose the use of speech. --- W. Somerset Maugham
A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?" One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said "Professor you're 44.." The Professor said "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?" The student said. "You see professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he's half nuts . . ."
Subscribe to Ophelia Dingbatter's News Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request. If you don't get it, you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked.
Historic Windsor Castle, outside of London, is directly in the flight path of Heathrow International Airport. While a group of tourists was standing outside the castle admiring the elegant structure, a plane flew overhead at a relatively low altitude, making a tremendous noise. One particularly annoyed tourist whined, "Why did they build the castle so close to the airport?"

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes Shaun Michael Burke, 38, from Mackay in Australia Man with Dildo Uses it to Beat Woman then Kills Dog Shaun Michael Burke, 38, from Mount Pleasant in Mackay, and a 21-year-old woman allegedly broke into a Mackay home at 3am (AEST) on Monday. Shaun Michael Burke was wearing a black leather mask and carrying a large dildo wrapped in duct tape and proceeded to attack the 49 yr. old woman in the house. He hit the woman in the head and face bruising her. He then grabbed her dog and taped it to a tree in a park nearby whereby the dog subsequently died from asphyxiation. The woman's mother and her 19 year old son, who witnessed the attack, fled the house. Mr Burke's lawyer told the court his client, who is married and has children, would face financial troubles if he remained in jail, as he would be unable to work and pay his mortgage. Magistrate Ross Risson refused Burke bail, deeming him an unacceptable risk to the complainant. Police have charged the pair with robbery with violence, wilful killing of an animal, entering a dwelling with intent, common assault and wilful damage.
Miss Figpot was giving a lesson to her first grade class. "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?" She asked Little Johnny jumped up and announced to the class, "VERY big hands...!"
Your ad could be here!
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Donna Re: Old XP for business use? Dear Webby Dad's health got better and he wants to re-start his business. I have an old computer from around 2000, with XP on it, that got parked in 2002. Would that one be strong enough to handle regular business stuff? Thanks Donna Dear Donna Yes, sure! Just open the lid, vacuum out the dust bunnies and spider webs, and it will be fine. Don't be surprised, if it handles business applications faster than your Vista machine. Have FUN! Dear Webby
"I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my boy as illiterate. This is a dirty lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at 090101@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reinforcing Drawers You can reinforce dresser or desk drawers by cutting small rectangular pieces of wood and screwing them into the back corners of the drawers. For the workshop or garage, where drawers tend to get overloaded with tools, the best way to re-inforce them is with roof flashing. That is thin galvanized sheet metal that comes in rolls, is surprisingly cheap, and can be cut with tin snips, garden shears or scissors. Cut 2 inch wide strips the length and width of the drawers. Use a door to kink the strips into "L" shape like angle iron. You are really going to be surprised how easy that works and get annoyed that you never thought of that. Then glue the strips around the outside bottom corners of the drawers with Goop or a similar household glue. When the glue has set, anchor the tin with little picture nails, shoe nails or brads. Drawers re-inforced like that will last just as long as metal workshop drawers, even if they started out as cheaply made kitchen drawers. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Little Johnny walked up to the front of he class and, with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well,the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnny had in mind, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnny. "Well, I can see that," she said, "but what is so exciting about a period?" "I don't know", said Johnny, "but, this morning, my sister said she missed one. Then Dad had a heart attack, Mom fainted, the man next door shot himself, and Father Hibberd across the street took off for a mission in Africa."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Health Wise
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 235 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 401 )

<<First <Back | 123 | 124 | 125 | 126 | 127 | 128 | 129 | 130 | 131 | 132 | Next> Last>>