Dear Webby: Reach of wireless routers 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  February 6, 2009
Time to wear something red to show your support for the troops!

Re Yesterday's bonehead Award: Dear Webby, Imagine my surprise today when I looked at the bonehead award and saw the story about Shaun Rimmer - this is the little b*****d who burgled my house in July last year and I was ready to give evidence with Josh at his trial on December 16th last year when he finally admitted his guilt. As usual with these things sentencing is deferred until some do gooder liberals reports a bout how bad a life he has had are done - at this time I am on holiday in the US and to find out how long he got sent down for was a joy - and I was amazed how I found out! Thank you - and keep up the great work. Regards, Frank
Thanks to Dianne for this: It was so cold during our trip to Canada that my wife and I ducked into a department store to buy long underwear. When we asked a saleswoman where we could find a pair, she directed us to the lingerie department. "You know you're in Canada," I grumbled to my wife, "When long johns are considered lingerie."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults

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Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture:
After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant them." Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled. Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged. The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again." The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly, and throwing furtive glances at her mother, checking for the first signs of any results. Finally she sighed and exclaimed: "For THAT I'll need more power!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 'Warning - zombies ahead!' US pranksters are hacking into electronic road signs to post hoax warnings such as "Nazi zombies" and "Raptors ahead". The latest breach came during the morning rush hour near Collinsville, Illinois, where a sign was changed to "Daily lane closures due to zombies". A day earlier, in Indiana's Hamilton County, the electronic message on a board in Carmel's construction zone warned drivers of "Raptors ahead". And signs in Austin, Texas, recently flashed: "Nazi zombies! Run!!!" and "Zombies in area! Run", reports the Daily Telegraph. Officials in Illinois are concerned the rewritten signs could distract motorists from heeding legitimate warnings. Authorities haven't figured out how pranksters access the signs but Mr Gasaway believes the Illinois sign was changed remotely. ------------- No kidding?
An older Jewish man is on the operating table awaiting surgery. He has insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he is about to receive the anesthesia, the patient asks to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ellen Re: Reach of wireless router Dear.Webby What is the maximum reach of wireless routers? And how secure are they? Thanks Ellen Dear Ellen Keep in mind that the other end, the card in your computer or laptop has to be just as powerful and talk the same language. I can get routers and PC-cards that work reliably for 3 Miles. Security is no problem, they use the newest standards including WPA-PSK random key security. Naturally, they cost more than bargain routers that barely reach thirty feet for you, but let all the kids in the neighborhood use your Internet access. Have FUN! Dear Webby
Thnks to Irene for this story: My husband and I were browsing in a crafts store when he noticed a display of country-style musical instruments. After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, he picked up a shiny, one-stringed instrument he took to be a mouth harp. He put it to his lips and, much to the amusement of other shoppers, twanged a few notes on it. After watching from a distance, I walked up and whispered in his ear, "I hate to tell you this, honey, but you're trying to play a cheese slicer."

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The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint. "It was enough to make anybody faint," he said. "My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the snow shovel !"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Sailing yachts
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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