Good Morning, ! It's Tuesday, February 24, 2009
You are not a product of your surroundings. You are a product of your own perceptions! --- Socratex I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not --- Robert G. Ingersoll Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. ---Scottish Proverb Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. --- H. L. Mencken
A perfectionist teacher demands the very best of all of her pupils. So it is only to be expected that she would get furious when one little fellow hands in a sloppily done homework paper. "This is the worst essay it has been my misfortune to read," the woman says through clenched teeth. "It has so many mistakes. I can't understand how one person could have made all these mistakes." "It wasn't just one person," the boy replies defensively. "My mom helped me."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
Linda doing the bench press
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man! You don't stand a chance of hitting her from here!"If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tom Mattice, Indianapolis WWII headline creates flap at VA hospital INDIANAPOLIS (UPI) -- The director of a VA hospital in Indiana has offended some veterans by removing a framed newspaper with the headline "Japs Surrender." The framed front page of the Indianapolis Times had been hanging at the Roudebush Veterans Affairs Medical Center for more than 60 years. Director Tom Mattice said he decided to take it down after a new employee complained about the display of an ethnic slur from World War II, the Indianapolis Star reported Wednesday. Ronald "Bud" Albright, who commands a Marine Corps League chapter, has launched a campaign to get the newspaper back on the wall. He hopes veterans from around the country will write to complain. "We feel it's a slap in the face of the U.S. military," he said. "That newspaper is history, part of United States history." ------------- When you read "Japs win soccer game" it's an innocuous abbreviation, but on an authentic newspaper announcing the end of WWII, it's a "racial slur" ? Sounds more like Mattice got a private Million Dollar + offer for that paper.
Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has been operating in Merseyside, Liverpool. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained. The Merseyside Regional Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on welfare fraud issues. The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the area. Police are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in their community.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Vicky Re: What is Twitter? Dear Webby, I read so many mentions about Twitter these days and I am wondering what it is and if it is safe. Vicky Dear Vicky Twitter is like the very early IRC chats in the early 80's, but with mug shots and a 140 character per message limit. If you choose to "follow" somebody, then every time they send a message, you see it in your Twitter page. Some people make it a game similar to FaceBook and try to get as many people as possible to "follow" them. That doesn't mean that all or any of thir followers actually read their posts. If they just focus on collecting followers, chances are that their followers are just as bland and shallow. Every now and then you have to weed out the people whom YOU follow. That's easy enough to do. A single click and they are gone. The same happens to you. If you don't contribute anything worth reading, people will stop following you. As far as safety is concerned, I don't see any problem with Twitter. It is limited to 140 characters of plain text, and you just follow people interested in the same stuff you are interested in. Twitter is a good way to meet people in a very casual way. If somebody turns out to be worth it, you can send them your email address or Skype handle in a private message. You can sign up free at http://twitter.com. It is easy, but most of the short names are already in use. You might have to try for a while until you come up with a user name that is not already in use. It is a good idea to limit your time on Twitter, and show up at the same hour when you do go onto Twitter. That way you accumulate friend with the same convenience time zone, instead o having them spread over the whole day. Have FUN! DearWebby
Nancy stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!" "Yes, ma'am?" "I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!" "What was wrong with it?" asked the librarian. "It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. You must be the person who took our phone book!"
The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at email@example.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Memory Aid: Tie a Ribbon Around Your Wrist If you have a problem remembering something, tie a ribbon around your wrist and write down what you are trying to remember. Then when you look on your wrist, there it is plain as day! Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
In the washroom in the airport I saw this handwritten sign posted over one of those hot air hand dryers: "Please push button and listen for a short message from our new President."Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Brazilian CarnivalARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blogIf you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!Webby.com
[ view entry ] ( 166 views ) | permalink | print article | ( 3 / 724 )