Dear Webby: Only one choice of monitor refresh rates 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  March 7, 2009

The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced. --- Frank Zappa Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt. --- Herbert Hoover
Thanks to Sandie for this story: On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage. The husband said, "I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there's no I in the word marriage." The wife said, "For my part, I have never corrected my husband's spelling."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Thanks to Sandie for this story: In the office where I work, there's a constant battle between our technical support director and customer service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too high. The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, "We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat." Thinking this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, "Yeah, right. So, how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kari Heath, 20 of Strum, Wisconsin Felony Charge For Craigslist Prank Cops: Posing as ex-boyfriend, Wisconsin woman placed "talk dirty" ad MARCH 5--Meet Kari Heath. The Wisconsin woman, 20, is facing a felony charge for allegedly posing as an ex-boyfriend and posting a Craigslist personals ad seeking other men to call him at work and "talk dirty to him." According to a criminal complaint, a copy of which you'll find here, Heath placed the ad last month after arguing with her boyfriend Joseph Strasburg. The ad, which was posted in Craigslist's "Casual Encounters" section, included several photos of the 24-year-old Strasburg, including one explicit image, and his business phone number. Heath's former beau contacted cops when a man called him about the online ad. Strasburg, 24, told investigators that Heath subsequently sent him a text message admitting responsibility for the prank, which resulted this week in her arrest for identity theft. When interviewed by police, Heath admitted placing the online ad in Craigslist's "personal column, homosexual section."
A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Shortly thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30am jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said, "I've discovered what runner's euphoria is." When we questioned this, he explained, "Runner's euphoria is what I experience at 5:30am on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Monitor Frequency Dear Webby, Hi..I tried to pull down another number but 60 was the only choice... how do I put in another number please.. Thanks as always. ???? Ann Dear Ann If 60 is the only choice you got, then that's it. You can not insert unlisted choices. Make sure your actual monitor is selected, and not a generic default monitor. You might have to change that from generic to "Plug-And-Play", so that Windows queries the monitor for it's make and model and abilities. Have FUN! DearWebby
I requested identification from a department store customer who had just written a personal check for her purchase. After fumbling through her purse, she presented me with what she said was the only thing that bore both her name and address. It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank.

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Swap Out Bad Socks For Good When I buy socks for my husband, I buy at least 6 of the largest packages that I can find. I open one or two packages and put the rest in the closet. When one wears out (and after it's been mended several times), I save the good sock and match it with another sock. When several wear out, I introduce several new pairs into his stash. They last years this way and he always has matching pairs. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Thanks to Sandie for this story: Everyone knows I'm a stickler for good spelling. So, when an associate e-mailed technical documents asking me to "decifer" them, I had to set him straight. I wrote, "Decipher is spelled with a ph, not an f. In case you've forgotten, spell checker comes free with your program." A minute later, I got this reply, "Mine must be dephective."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Extreme Body Parts
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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