Dear Webby, should I save software patches? 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  March 11, 2009

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status. --- Laurence J. Peter Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. --- Ambrose Bierce,
A lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." "Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder." "Well," she said, "I hope you've got a good appetite because the electricity was cut off this morning."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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"May I try on that dress in the window?" the gorgeous woman asked the manager of the designer boutique. "Go ahead," the manager replied. "Maybe it'll attract some business."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to United Airways Sent in by Walter, the Stonecarver Body shipped to pet store Even US Airways admits- this was a big mistake. A Pets Plus employee went to the US Airways freight desk at the airport to pick up a thousand dollars worth of exotic fish. The driver came back to the store and showed his boss this: "Instead of my fish packing list I have a dead body packing list." In the box? The body of 65 year-old California postal worker Jon Kenoyer. He died last friday. His body was being shipped to Life Quest Anatomical Research in the lehigh valley. They use bodies for scientific research. But Jon's body didn't get there- it got here- to a pet store. "If it was my family member I'd really be broken up that they just sent 'em with anybody." The folks at Life Quest are very upset about the US Airways mistake- so are the folks here. The fish they ordered are most likely dead- and they are very upset for the family of the deceased man. The Pets Plus workers didn't open the box- they did make arrangements to have a van from the airport come take it away- so hopefully, it gets where it belongs. "I'm not upset about the mistake- if it was flowers or something a mistake is a mistake- but no, I guess I'm upset because I wouldn't want to be a family and somebody is trying to find the body right now... and we have it." Out in a San Diego suburb, Jon Kenoyer's widow Mary says her late husband was a practical joker who hated to fly. She believes he is up in heaven laughing about this big mixup. "He was such a practical joker so I just think that this is the last joke he's playing on us. And he's afraid to fly, and then he found out they were shipping his body by airplane, and I said he's going to get even with me, either up in heaven, or I guess he's doing it now." Mary Kenoyer also said she hopes this incident doesn't discourage others from donating their bodies to science.
It's official: Rap music does cause crime. Research shows that in over half the shootings that occur on the street, the gunman is aiming at the boombox.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carolyn Re: Save software patches? Webby, I have more questions - I bet you get tired of answering all of us! When you told us how to block SP3 and IE7 I did it but I hit save and then run. I noticed on my documents they are there. Can I delete the icons or will the blockers go away also. I noticed a few other things I saved and then ran are there but I am nervous about deleting them. Should I just hit run and not save? Thank you again for helping. Carolyn Dear Carolyn As long as you hit RUN, it should be OK. Since they are very tiny files, I would leave them in place, in case you need them again. Have FUN! DearWebby
The tourist was admiring the Native's necklace. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," he replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Actually", he replied, "here the alligator hunters get paid more than the oyster cutters at the packing plant."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Make a Hand Sander Wrap sandpaper around a wood block to sand large areas of wood. The wood will be sanded evenly and the sand paper will wear evenly. For round or irregular surfaces you can get foam sanding blocks with different grades on different sides. They last surprisingly long and can be cleaned with the rubber sticks used to clean belt sander loops. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a bloody nose and a black eye. "Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked. "No," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake."
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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