Dear Webby: Firefox midi problem 

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It's Wednesday,  March 18, 2009

"Be around people who can keep your energy and inspiration high. While you can make progress alone, it's so much easier when you have support." Dr. Joe Vitale
The CIA lost track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he's somewhere in Ireland. If you think you've located him, tell him the code words,'The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.' If it's really him, he'll answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'" So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in the first bar he sees. He says to the bartender, "Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a guy named Murphy." The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There's Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There's Murphy the Banker, across the street. There's Murphy the Plumber next door. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too." Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code words on bartender, so he says, "The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning." The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the Spy. He lives on 24 East Broadmoor in Dublin, on the second floor. But,.... from what I hear he's vacationing in Hawaii right now. You'll have to ask Murphy the travel agent to get the phone number of the hotel he's staying at.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
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After Jane's son fell into the pond yet again and came home with his good school clothes dripping wet, the exasperated Jane sent him to his room and washed and dried his clothes. A little later, Jane heard a commotion in the back yard. She yelled out "Are you out there wetting your pants again!?" There was dead silence for a moment. Then a deep, masculine voice answered meekly, "No, ma'am, I'm just reading the meter."
Thanks to Sandie for this orchid!
Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on? He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on- this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them." She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Then, finally, she asked him, "Now, where are your mittens?" He replied: "I stuffed them in the toes of my boots..."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Marcel Fournier, 19, of Concord, Vermont Vermont man attached antlers to doe's head CONCORD, Vt. (UPI) -- A Vermont hunter is paying the price for trying to pass off a doe as a buck by attaching antlers to the dead animal's head, authorities say. Marcel Fournier, 19, of Concord was hit with a $400 fine and a 10-day jail sentence Feb. 18 for his hunting violations, the Burlington Free Press reported. In addition, Fournier will not be allowed to obtain a state hunting, fishing or trapping license in Vermont for at least three years. The Vermont State's Attorney Office charged Fournier with illegally hunting does after he tried to pass off his faux buck as lawful game last fall, the Free Press said. When confronted by a state Department Fish and Wildlife warden, Fournier confessed he created the hybrid deer after killing it illegally Nov. 22. "He used epoxy and lag bolts recessed into the rack -- but they weren't very firm," Warden David Gregory said. "When you grabbed them, you'd feel movement."
When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought regular or premium gas, but she couldn't remember. "You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the engine running so rough." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly. "Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband. "It cost the same as always," said the wife. "I bought the usual ten dollars worth."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kathryn Re: Music not playing Hi: I have been sending your cards for years. For the first time, I am not able to hear the music. I have reinstalled Quicktime and it still does not play. Can you please help me triage this problem. I just love your cards. Thanks so much. Kindest Regards, Kathryn Dear Kathryn Just use a different browser, for example Opera or IE. The music is there, and you see the call for it, when you view the page source. It's just a FireFox problem, not playing midi files. You MIGHT be able to get help from Firefox support, In the meantime, open a file explorer, find a midi fie right-click it, Open With select Quicktime checkmark "Always Use This Program" Sometimes that helps. You might have to go into Tools Folder Options File Types and in there look for midi files and assign them to Quicktime. Keep in mind that Quicktime is an Apple program, and a lot of things you are used to, are not quite as automated as you expect them to be. Have FUN! DearWebby
A tour guide was showing a tourist around Washington, D. C. The guide pointed out the place where George Washington supposedly threw a dollar across the Potomac River. "That's impossible," said the tourist. "No one could throw a dollar that far!" "You have to remember," answered the guide. "A dollar went a lot further in those days."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Treat Job Hunting as a Job When job hunting, treat it like a full time job. Spend 40 hours a week dedicated to finding a job, whether the time involves resume building, searching online, developing cover letters, or beating the pavement. By Emily from RI Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

This guy says to his buddy, "You'll never believe what happened last night." His buddy says, "Well then, tell me what happened." The guy says, "Last night the doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch, asking me, "Can I stay here for a few days?" I said, "Of course, you can stay there," and shut the door."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Globetrotter Cities
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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