Dear Webby: AOL problems getting worse 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  March 25, 2009

Trying is lying. There is no such thing as trying. You do it or you don't. You get results in life or you have excuses why you didn't. When people say, 'I'll try,' they usually mean, 'I'm not going to do it now.' --- Dick Sutphen
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. "I'm busy," he said. "I'll do the next one." The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled. "Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper," he said. "I meant the next baby!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
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"How long will it take to pull my tooth?" The patient asked the dentist. "Only two seconds" "How much will it cost?" "Fifty dollars." "For only two seconds of work?" "Well," The dentist answered coolly, "I can pull it very, very slowly and make it last an hour if you prefer."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Seasonally confused Amaryllis
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $3.99 for a $2 item that she doesn't want, but that is on sale.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a bunch of robbers in Milwaukee, Washington Counterfeit money for buying fake drugs from cops ERWIN, Tenn. - A man was been arrested after police said he used counterfeit money to purchase fake OxyContin pills from an undercover officer. Unicoi County Sheriff's deputies arrested a 21-year-old man on Tuesday and charged him with criminal conspiracy with schedule II drugs, forgery and criminal simulation. Investigator Frank Rogers said the officer met with several people at a mobile home park and arranged for the suspect and another man to come to Unicoi to buy 76 OxyContin pills for $4,875. Officers said it was "obviously bad money" with some bills printed on just one side.
A woman marries a man expecting to change him. He doesn't change.. A man marries a woman hoping that she won't change but she always does.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Erina Re: AOL problem Dear Webby; I know you are sending out the newsletter faithfully every day and I get it fine at work. My mother, though, first for a week didn't see the picture of the day, and now can't even get to your site any more. Yes, she is on AOL, and no matter how much we razz her about that, she won't budge. Is there ANYTHING that she can do to get the newsletter properly or at least not be bloked from your site? Is AOL doing that messing around on purpose? Erina Dear Erina Never assume malice, when routine incompetence can be an adequate explanation. A number of people wrote, that they had contacted AOL "support", but that it was just a waste of time. Some graduated from AOL and instantly got full and proper access to any place they wanted to go to, others are hoping that AOL will fix their problem soon. Have FUN! DearWebby
A women goes to her boyfriends parents house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriends father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women's feet, and said in a rather stern voice, "Ginger!" The woman thought, "this is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Ginger!" Once again the woman smiled and thought, "Great!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip with a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "dad gomit Ginger, get away from her before you stink like her!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Baby Wipes for Quick Bathroom Cleanup I keep a box of inexpensive baby wipes (odor free) in my bathroom. I not only use them for quick cleaning of my face or hands, but I use them often to quickly wipe up a dirty sink or bathtub, around my toilet, on the lid or toilet seat and even use them to wipe up chrome faucets. If I use one on the bathroom sink I use it on the chrome too and if it isn't 'used-up' yet I will keep it handy to use again for quick wipe-ups. I find they are good throughout the house to wipe around windows, use on window blinds, etc. The uses are endless. By Karen from Davis, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

To get acquainted with his new Parish, the Priest decided to call on someone daily. One he selected was a young widow, her husband, according to the index card, had died two years ago. After knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young lady with a baby in her arms. He said, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was looking for the widow Laffitte." "You've found her Father." smiled the lady. "Well, according to the card here, it says your husband died over two years ago." he said glancing at the baby in her arms. "That's correct Father, he surely did... but I didn't."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Ancient Egypt
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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