Dear Webby: Foreign spam 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  March 26, 2009

America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up. --- Oscar Wilde Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them. --- Robertson Davies
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening worship service and was startled to find an intruder in her house. Catching the man in the act of burglarizing her home, she yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven). As the burglar stopped dead in his tracks, the woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. Shortly, several officers arrived and took the man into custody. As he was placing the handcuffs on the burglar, one of the officers asked "Why did you just stand there? Was it her a Bible quote ?" "Bible Quote???" replied the burglar. "She said she had an AXE and TWO 38's!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
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Some people's appliances!! A Wales woman in Llanelli, Dyfed had to call emergency services from her mobile phone when her washing machine pinned her against the sink. In a slick move, the machine, running on vibrations, slowly slid across the kitchen floor until it completed its destiny and she was pinned for the count. And what says the washing machine? It wouldn't respond to reporter's questions because it was feeling drained. The machine is not likely to repeat the behavior because it was probably just a cycle it was going through.
Thanks to my Dad for this picture: This one bloomed today
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Robert Jones, 43, from Doncaster, England TomTom-foolery A South Yorkshire motorist was charged with careless driving after he nearly followed his sat nav over the edge of a cliff. Robert Jones, 43, from Doncaster, followed the device as he headed for a friend's house even when it began taking him up a steep, rocky footpath. He finally realised something was seriously wrong when his BMW hit a fence just inches from a 100ft drop, reports the Daily Mirror. Mr Jones said: "I just trusted the sat nav. It kept insisting that the path was a road even as it was getting narrower and steeper. "I rely on my sat nav, I couldn't do without it for my job. I guess I'm lucky the car didn't slip all the way over the edge. But it has been a bit of a nightmare." It took nine hours for a recovery team to haul the BMW away from the cliff edge in Todmorden, West Yorkshire. The rescue operation attracted a large crowd of astonished locals. Police confirmed Mr Jones had been charged. A spokesman said: "Nobody was hurt. But when someone nearly drives off a cliff that shows a lack of care which needs to be investigated."
Pierre from Montreal was in a hotel in Edmonton and phoned room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Noose pepper!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ed Re: Foreign Spam Dear Webby; I get loads of spam from around the World every day offering millions of dollars if I send them my personal information. (If I accept two more checks, I'll be richer than Bill Gates!) As soon as I see a foreign country mentioned, I delete it. BUT... is there a way of automatically blocking these sites before they get to my screen? Hating to waste all those electrons, Ed Dear Ed I use MailWasher. MailWasher does a good job of keeping that kind of stuff out, or at least flagging it for deletion. If I had to look at every piece of mail sent to my addresses, I would not get any work done at all. Have FUN! DearWebby
(This one you have to read out loud) "Information? I need the number for Caseway Trasnport." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Healthy Living Tips To Keep Weight Off I've been slim for about 10 years (of course with a few ups and downs!) and have just realized that there are a lot of things I have been doing over the years automatically to help keep my weight down. I don't exercise but I do try to walk places and go up stairs when I can. My food eating habits are what really changed. Here are a few suggestions: * Cut Out Dairy (or Cut Down) * Eat High Cocoa Content Dark Chocolate * Make Your Own Popcorn Bags * Eat More During The Day And Less At Night By Lisa from Halifax, NS Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

The basketball coach stormed into the University President's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an example." The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Three minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the University President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned first."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Weather calculator
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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