Good Morning, ! It's Saturday, March 28, 2009
Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless. --- Thomas A. Edison
Marcy went to her doctor with two very red ears. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered: "I was ironing a shirt and remembered I had to call for a hair appointment. I used the speed dial - but when they answered, instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to your other ear?" "They called called back to ask what the screaming was all about"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
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If you have amnesia and experience deja-vue at the same time, does that mean you feel like you've forgotten this stuff before?
Thanks to my Lillemor for this picture: Start Shoveling!If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Neanderthalers in Oakland, CA Neanderthalers claim Genocide Dozens march for Mixon, against police About 60 people marched and rallied in Oakland on Wednesday to condemn the police and honor Lovelle Mixon, who was killed by Oakland police after he fatally shot four officers Saturday. "OPD you can't hide - we charge you with genocide," chanted the demonstrators as they marched along MacArthur Boulevard. , near the intersection with 74th Avenue where Mixon, 26, a fugitive parolee, gunned down two motorcycle officers who had pulled him over in a traffic stop. He killed two more officers who tried to capture him where he was hiding in his sister's apartment nearby. Mixon was suspected in several rapes, including that of a 12-year-old girl, and was wanted on several charges, including parole violation. The protest was organized by the Oakland branch of the Uhuru Movement, whose flyers for the march declared, "Stop Police Terror." Apparently it did not occur to them that sane people consider murdering four police officers as terror, and justification for stopping the killer by any means.
Anni was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where were you the night of August 24th?" "Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!" "Oh, that's okay," said Anni from the witness stand. "I don't mind answering the question." "I object!" the defense said again. "No, really," said Anni. "I'll answer." The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object." So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of August 24th?" Anni replied brightly, "I don't know. "
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Teresa Re: AOL failure Dear Webby; I have used ActionCat daily for about 8 years until a couple weeks ago. Suddenly I can not access the site from AOL, I can still get there from Internet Explorer but that is a pain. Could you and AOL make up please? Teresa Dear Teresa Unfortunately there is nothing I can do about the bozos at AOL. As you can see, ActionCat does work fine. About all you can do is contact AOL, and tell them that you will move to a respectable ISP, if they don't stop censoring what you want to see. Censoring http://actioncat.com is worse than the censoring that goes on in China. There is absolutely nothing political o Actioncat. By the way, people in China are rebelling against censorship in a humorous way with the Grass Mud Horse. You can read about it at http://cao-ni-ma.com/ and send free Grass Mud Horse postcards at http://cao-ni-ma.com/cards1.html If you have friends in China, send them a card to show your moral support. The cards are free and you don't have to register. Have FUN! DearWebby
A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all; money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!" "What happened?" asked the friend. "My wife found out."
The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ Email to the Express Empress at email@example.com, and she will post it into the blog for you.Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Grow Potatoes In Boxes Want to grow potatoes? Lacking the gumption to dig them up? Here's the answer: Boxes. Pick a spot in your yard where you'd like to improve the soil a bit and set out your boxes (at least the size of a 5 gallon bucket). Fill the boxes with dirt and plant your potatoes, remember to water and weed. When it comes time, either break, tear, or dump the dirt from the boxes and pick up the 'taters! By Sarah from Berrien Springs, MI There is an even easier way! Make a high-bed! Instead of paying disposal fees for an old freezer, park it in your garden, paint it with flowers and fill it with compost and dirt. Place your cut potato pieces (-one "eye" per piece-) ON TOP of the dirt. Cover it with an old bed sheet and make it wet. In a few days you will see little mounds where the potatoes have sprouted. Stab the sheet so that the leaves can wiggle through. Water when needed and laugh about the neighbors who have to weed and hill their potatoes. Starting in mid summer you can reach in under the sheet and harvest clean potatoes one meal's worth at a time. In the fall, after the first frost colors the potato foliage, cut it with a machete or large kitchen knife, gather the sheet and cut foliage into a tidy bundle fr the compost, and there you see piles of potatoes waiting for you! I have used this method for many years even in the Yukon. Up there we used concrete rebar hoops and plastic to make a tunnel to extend the short growing season, and always had more potatos than expected. Without bending down! Have FUN! Dear Webby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for while and then said, "You must have been REALLY wicked to turn ALL of grandma's hairs white!"Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Kerala India GalleryARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blogIf you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!Webby.com
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