Dear Webby: Bad virus infection 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  April 14, 2009

The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action. --- Frank Herbert
An English soldier, an American solider and a Russian soldier found themselves sharing a table in a Bosnian restaurant, and the conver sation turned towards how well fed each of them was. "In the Russian army we have 2000 calories of food a day" said the Russian. "Well", said the Englishman, "In the British army we are given 4000 calories of food a day." "That's nothing", said the American, "in the US army we have 8000 calories of food a day". At this the Russian got very annoyed. "Nonsense", he said, "how could one man eat that much cabbage!!!."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
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MacTavish's little boy was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson. "If you had five pounds," said the teacher, "and I asked you for the loan of three pounds, how many would you have left?" "Five," said young MacTavish firmly. "Five?" the teacher said "How do you make it five?" "Well," replied young MacTavish "You can ask for a loan of three pounds, but that doesn't mean you will get it."
Thanks to Dianne for this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to David Keith Martz, 52, San Diego, California Pilot's license revoked after oral sex GARDENA, Calif. (UPI) -- A California helicopter pilot whose license was revoked again after he engaged in sex acts while in the air has lost an appeal to be reinstated. David Keith Martz, 52, was grounded by the Federal Aviation Administration after a video surfaced online in February that depicted the pilot receiving oral sex from a porn actress while flying above the waterfront in downtown San Diego, the San Diego Union-Tribune reported Wednesday. The revocation of Martz's license was upheld Tuesday by an administrative law judge at the National Transportation Safety Board in Gardena, Calif. Martz, a commercial pilot, argued during the hearing that he had corrected any defects in his flying skills since he received a suspension last year on an unrelated matter. The pilot can appeal the judge's decision to the National Transportation Safety Board.
A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?" "The glaciers brought them down," said the guide. "But where are the glaciers?" The lady asked. "The glaciers," said the guide in a weary voice, "have gone back for more rocks."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rae Re: Bad infection Dear Webby Many thanks for all your good information, jokes, news articles and pictures. Your father's cacti blooms are just beautiful. I vote for your letter daily. My XP, service pack 2, is bringing me to tears now. It's been crashing off and on when I'm on line, plus had some other problems. I know so little about correcting them so decided to get a free Panda scan, fearing I may have that Conficker worm. The scan found things that needed to be taken off, so I tried to order their paid offer. When I type, the provided form spaces remain blank. After trying several times, I gave up. Now I find no forms will accept my key strokes and I cannot even vote for you. I have Norton, but it doesn't find anything. Any help you can give would be so appreciated. I'm far from computer savvy. Thanks much, Rae Dear Rae It sounds like your machine has been infected with something that is more powerful than Norton and Panda, and that prevents Norton and Panda from working. Copy all the stuff, that you want to keep, onto CD's or DVDs, and do a full re-install from the XP set-up disk. You don't need to copy the programs, you have to re-install those anyway. Just copy pictures, music and documents. After re-installing XP, immediately get the SP3 blocker and the IE7 blocker. Then let Windows do an update from 2001 to 2009. Next get some serious anti virus program. Obviously, Norton and Panda are not strong enough for the roads you travel, so I would recommend McAfee. It is $34 a year. Then get Spybot-Search&Destroy and whatever you want from my Toolbox at You might also want to grab a free
The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Say "No" to Pizza Delivery Way too long for this space, but if the topic interests you, check out Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A guy goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, my wife has lost her voice, a week ago...." "And you are afraid she'll find it again ?"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Frogs
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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