Dear Webby: Uncluttered Favorites 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  April 17, 2009
Time to wear something red to show your support for the troops!

Every composer knows the anguish and despair occasioned by forgetting ideas which one had no time to write down. -- Hector Berlioz yeah, happens to writers too.
A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband to the photographer. She asked the photographer if he could remove the hat from the picture. He convinced her he could easily do that, and asked her what side of his head he parted his hair on. "I forget," she said. "But you can see that for yourself when you take off his hat."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
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It was young Anthony's first ride in a railway train, and the succession of wonders reduced him to a state of hysterical astonishment. The train rounded a slight bend and, with a shriek of its whistle, plunged into a tunnel. There were gasps of surprise from the corner where Anthony was kneeling on his seat. Suddenly the train rushed into broad daylight again, and a small voice lifted in wonder. "Wow! It's tomorrow!" exclaimed the small boy.
Opuntia blooming in Death Valley, California today.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Abby Toll, 20, University of Colorado Female Pervert Taped Puppy To Refrigerator APRIL 14--Meet Abby Toll. The University of Colorado student, 20, is facing a felony animal abuse rap after she taped her boyfriend's puppy to the side of a refrigerator in a bid to teach the rambunctious animal a "lesson." According to police, Toll used clear packing tape early this morning to adhere the eight-month-old dog (a Shiba Inu named Rex) to the appliance in the kitchen of her boyfriend's apartment. Toll allegedly was angry at Bryan Beck, 21, for failing to get rid of the puppy, which, Toll told cops, bit her a few days ago. According to the below Boulder Police Department reports, when cops responded at 5 AM to a "report of a male and female yelling" at Beck's apartment, they discovered that "Rex's body was completely encased in packing tape." When Officer Kara Jurczenia asked what was on the side of the fridge, Toll replied, "The dog." Toll added, "I know this looks really bad, but the dog bites. He is aggressive." Jurczenia asked how long the puppy had been taped upside down to the side of the refrigerator. "Not long," Toll replied. "Like 20-30 minutes. It was just until he calmed down." The reports note that when Beck saw his dog stuck to the refrigerator, he told Toll, "Take him down," adding, "You are so sick!" Toll replied, "No, you are sick for not caring enough about me to get rid of the dog." The animal, whose paws had been bound with elastic hair ties, was clearly in pain and "yelped and screamed loudly" as cops worked to free him. "Rex just lay motionless, but breathing, on his kennel after he was removed from the tape." The puppy was handed over to the Boulder Valley Humane Society. Toll, seen in the above mug shot, was turned over to county jailers. Beck, who was arrested in connection with his scuffle with Toll, was not charged with animal abuse. Though he did reportedly tell police, "We were going to get rid of him anyway. We usually don't do this." (5 pages) ... 2dog1.html ------------- All pups I ever had, have bitten me. So what? It's a normal part of their development. They bite their mother and their siblings too It's not a hostile act, just part of finding out what is appreciated and what is not. Pups are very sensitive to the boss's tone of voice, and if that is not enough, putting a finger on their tongue, when they are biting during playful wrestling, makes them quit the biting quite fast. There is absolutely no need to get sadistic and perverted.
Thanks to BillieBob in Bama: How can you tell Leroy is at a Cock fight? He's the one who brought the duck. How can you identify the Italian at the Cock fight? He's the one who bets on the duck. How can you tell if the Mafia is involved in the Cock fight? The duck wins.
From the Tech Support Pits: From Cindy Re: Uncluttered Favorites Dear Webby, The "favorites" in my browser are too difficult to organize and I want to make shortcuts to them in little clusters on the desktop. Thanks, Cindy Dear Cindy Reduce your browser window so that the area, where you want to park the short-cut icons, is visible. Then go to a site, and drag the little icon in the left of the browser address bar onto that empty spot on the desktop. You can rename the icon text to something shorter and more memorable. Once things get too cluttered, make some folders in some directory on the drive, NOT on the desktop! Then make desktop shortcuts to those folders, give the shortcuts distinctive icons, and drag the icons from those clusters into those folders. One of the reasons for not using desktop folders for that, is that it is difficult to change the icons of desktop folders, and a stack of identical lookng manila folders does not help for organizing things. Have FUN! DearWebby
The man approached a very beautiful woman in a very large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asks. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Recommended Supplies for a Basic Emergency Kit: Be sure to have an emergency kit in your house. It should include: Water and food for 3 days, a battery-powered radio, flashlight and extra batteries, a First Aid kit, basic tools for shelter and repair. Also include any unique family needs such as prescription medications, baby needs and documents. Get More Information on Emergency Preparation Here Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem." "What's the problem, Adam?", God replies. "Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, but I am just not happy" "Why is that, Adam?", comes the reply from the heavens. "Lord, I know you created this place for me, with all this lovely food and all of the beautiful animals, but I am lonely." "Well Adam, in that case I have the perfect solution. I shall create a "woman" for you." "What's a "woman", Lord?" "This "woman" will be the most intelligent, sensitive, caring, and beautiful creature I have ever created. She will be so intelligent that she can figure out what you want, even before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know your every mood and how to make you happy. Her beauty will rival that of the heavens and earth. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you.", replies the heavenly voice. "Sounds great!" Adam says with a grin on his face. "She will be, but this is going to cost you." "Oh, how much will this "woman" cost me Lord?", Adam replies. "She'll cost you your right arm, your right leg, an eye, an ear, and your left testicle." Adam ponders this for some time, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face. Finally Adam says to God, "Ehhh, what can I get for a rib? The rest, of course, is history.
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Light, The Universe & Everything
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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