Dear Webby: Missing Child 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  April 26, 2009

If little else, the brain is an educational toy. --- Tom Robbins Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude toward us. Earl Nightingale:
I met Fran and Jane at one of the benches for smokers outside Dallas/Fort Worth airport. They were quite obviously nervous about their flight and had bought some flight insurance at the terminal. They told me that they couldn't make up their minds about who to name as beneficiaries, so they had ended up each naming the other. I was quite amused when I saw them both get up at the same time to board the same plane.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
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One of the grand monuments in Monument Valley faintly appearing during today's sand storm, like ghosts of tall sailing ships in the fog.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to City Council in North Norfolk, England Praying for a parking ticket Motorists are having to get down on their knees to collect tickets from Britain's lowest car park ticket machine. The 3ft machine dispenses pay-and-display tickets just 18 inches above the ground at the car park in Sheringham, Norfolk. Installed by North Norfolk Council, the machine is supposedly designed to be wheelchair user friendly, if installed properly, reports the Daily Telegraph. Dr Gerry, Bedford, a retired chemist, 62, questioned the device after seeing it when on holiday with his wife. "I thought it was a joke when I first saw it. The size of it is just ridiculous for anyone of average height," he said. "I am 6ft 5 ins tall and I had to get down on my knees to use it. I found the whole experience completely bizarre." Pat Harvey, chairman of the Norfolk Association for the Disabled, said: "This machine sounds so low that it could actually be unsafe for wheelchair users." North Norfolk Council spokesman Nick Manthorpe said: "We only had the choice of two plinths from the machines' manufacturer - a tall one, or one that was supposedly suitable for wheelchair users." ----------- DUH! The sidewalk model needs an 8" spacer if installed on the same level as where cars drive.
Subway Announcements: At Camden town station (on a crowded Saturday afternoon): "Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train first. Let the passengers OFF THE TRAIN FIRST! Oh go on then, get run over by Big Bertha, see if I care, I'm going home." ---------------- "I am sorry about the delay, apparently some nutter has just wandered into the tunnel at Euston. We don't know when we'll be moving again, but these people tend to come out pretty quickly...usually in bits and pieces."
From the Tech Support Pits: Dear Webby's Tech Support Pits: From: Randall Re: Missing Child Dear Webby: Amber alert please look at the picture, read what her father says, then forward his message on. .... Dear Randall Please check the Urban Legends (link on the left side) before forwarding old hoaxes. Penny Brown is not missing. Some gullible soul might see that picture and cause problems for some innocent girl, maybe even Penny Brown's grand daughter. There is NO Amber alert for any Penny Brown, and there never will be one, even if a real Penny Brown goes missing. The Penny Brown hoax was one of the earliest Internet hoaxes, and few people would take it seriously now. Some clown updated it a couple of years ago and added the Amber Alert line and sent it around AOL again. From there of course it spread all over the web again If you are interested in the REAL Amber Alert, go to Whenever you get a long mail with a request to forward it to everybody, it's a hoax. Just tell the sender that the answer is at Forward Have FUN! DearWebby
GROAN ALERT: Ben Kenobi and Luke Flyswatter are having a Chinese supper. Ben picks up the chopsticks and starts eating. Luke is having problems, there is food over his face, his clothes, and the table, but not much in his mouth. "What should I do?" he asks Ben. "Use the forks, Luke!"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Check the Weather When Traveling When traveling, make sure to check the weather in the city you are traveling from as well as the city you are traveling to and any connecting cities. It will give you an idea of whether or not you may have delays and what to expect when you get there. Click Here For More Travel Tips Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

GROAN ALERT: Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian, white baby boy! "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?" The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two Wongs don't make a white, so I tink we will name him Sum-Ting Wong."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Australian Critters
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
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Quiz answer: 3: most common answer. 4: rarely found answer 5: You probably use DSL or Cable to get onto the net 6: You probably have a domain with your name or nickname. 6 is correct. Don't forget to count the thre "OF"s. Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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