Dear Webby: Fixing errors 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  May 6, 2009

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. --- Dr. Wayne Dyer
In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled and screamed, it was called witchcraft; today, it is called golf.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
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A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in Summer Camp. He was surprised to see one of the youngsters had an umbrella. The counselor asked, "Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?" The kid answered, "Did you ever have a mother?"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to James Kettle, 21 in in Warwickshire, England Worst job application ever? A student applied for a job at a Welsh tourist attraction using the email address 'atleastimnotwelsh'. James Kettle, 21, also sent his job request to the wrong address, reports The Sun. The horticulture undergraduate sent it to Aberglasney Gardens, Carmarthenshire, instead of the National Botanic Garden of Wales. A manager at Aberglasney replied: "It may be prudent to change your email address. It could have a detrimental effect on any career aspirations of working in Wales." James, a student at Pershore Agricultural College in Warwickshire, said: "I feel a right fool. "I set up the email at school because several Welsh kids were in my year. I forgot it was with my application and didn't mean to be offensive."
From the Tech Support Pits: From:Shonda Re: Errors Dear Webby. I love the pictures you took on your trip. Love your Father's flowers. I wish I could grow the flowers he has. I need to clean up my computer, in fix some errors. But I want to do this for free. What can I use? Thank you Shonda Dear Shonda Without knowing what kind of errors are involved, I would suggest, that you flirt a local geek into doing it, in exchange for some washing and ironing, and maybe a cake or two. Have FUN! DearWebby
A couple trying to break into society hosted a dinner party. As the guests were enjoying their dinner salad, the maid called the hostess from the table. The maid informed her that the cat had climbed on the kitchen table and eaten a large portion of the salmon's midsection. The hostess decided to quickly drive to the corner store to get some cans of tuna and fill the eaten portion with and other camouflage. As the guests were enjoying the fish, the maid called the hostess into the kitchen and announced while wringing her hands, "Madam, the cat is dead." The hostess and her husband informed the guests and suggested it might be best if everyone went to the hospital and had their stomachs pumped. Returning home, the couple asked the maid where she had put the cat. "It is still out on the road where you ran ran over it on the way back from the store."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Shoe Polish Instead of Replacing Shoes My husband was going to buy another pair of $85 shoes because his were scuffed. Instead, I spent $4 on shoe polish and they look beautiful! Sounds like a no-brainer, but I'm guilty of replacing expensive shoes when shoe polish would have done the job. By Britt from Boston, MA Personally, I usually wear off-road type sneakers, because I don't want to be limited by my footwear, and as the CEO, I set the fashion. However, I remember from college and University, a good, hard, synthetic wax will protect the shoes from getting scuffed in the first place. Just make sure you get it onto the shoes before they get near any of the daily use shoe polishes. Those are greasy and prevent a really protective wax from adhering and penetrating properly. A hard car wax produces a long lasting shine and can be buffed up quickly. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

"Women don't need conventional tools around the house, we'll use anything that's handy. But when pounding a nail, don't use a shoe - shoes cost $40 a pair. A package of frozen hamburgers costs $2. Use the hamburger." -Jeannie
Here is an oldie-goldie for finishing today's Humor Letter: For his wife's birthday party, George ordered a cake with this inscription: "You are not getting older. You are just getting better." Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, "Just put 'You are not getting older' at the top and 'You are just getting better' at the bottom." It wasn't until the maid served the cake that he discovered, that the cake read: "YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP. YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Offbeat Hotels
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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