Dear Webby: DELL display problem 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  May 7, 2009

I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. --- Charles De Gaulle A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel. --- Robert Frost
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. It's rather distracting!" Caddy: "This isn't a watch, sir, its a compass!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
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A young boy about five or six years was talking on the telephone. As his dad listened on, the youngster told his grandparents dejectedly, "Mom is in the hospital, so the twins and Roxie and Billy and Sally and Max-the-dog and me and Dad are home all alone."
Thanks to Len from for this picture: Why-Mommy-won't-let-him-be-king.jpg
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Teresa Tambunting, 50, of Scarsdale, N.Y. Woman accused of stealing 500 lbs. of gold NEW YORK (UPI) -- An employee of a New York jeweler stole 513 pounds of gold from the firm over five years, taking one small piece at a time hidden in her purse, police allege. Authorities said Wednesday that Teresa Tambunting, 50, of Scarsdale, N.Y., a longtime employee of Jacmel Jewelry, brought a suitcase filled with 66 pounds of gold worth an estimated $868,000 back into the company's office after an investigation was launched in January, The New York Times reported. Authorities allegedly found another 447 pounds of stolen gold at the vault manager's home in February, the newspaper said. "With gold trading at nearly $900 an ounce, the defendant is accused of establishing a virtual mining operation in Long Island City which siphoned off millions of dollars' worth of the precious metal from her employer," District Attorney Richard A. Brown said in the statement. "It is alleged that this once-trusted employee carried out her long-term scheme by concealing jewelry and raw gold in the lining of her pocketbook." She was released on $100,000 bail after being arraigned in Queens Criminal Court Tuesday on charges of grand larceny and criminal possession of stolen property. She is expected to enter a plea May 19. Tambunting, who had worked at the store for 28 years, faces up to 25 years in prison if convicted.
From the Tech Support Pits: From:Eddie Re: Display problems Hey Mr Webby; Is there a video adjustment on a "Dell Laptop 8000" that I could use to fix the video size on this laptop? The guy's video screen is approx 12" X 12" I have tried to go into "Display Properties/Advance/Settings and found out that the settings are at 640 X 480 and I cannot adjust this setting at all.... By the way.... he has windows 98' Could this be a driver problem as well with his windows? Eddie Dear Eddie Dell used to make a 14" Dell Inspiron 8000 Notebook in the last century, but I have never heard of a 12" x 12" Dell laptop. Better call the Dell 1-800 number. Have FUN! DearWebby
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "I doubt that!" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of prunes?" The clerk replies, "Sure, Canned or Dried?"

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Share Expensive Gardening Tools With Neighbors My friend, who lives in another town, says she and her neighbors all share their lawn and gardening tools. This way no one has to be out the purchase price of expensive items, like lawn mowers, garden tillers, leaf blowers, etc., unless they just want to be. Clever idea! By Terri H. from NV Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A young woman, a military dependant, came into the dental clinic with a problem tooth. She had several children and appeared to be quite ready to give birth to another one at almost any moment. It was necessary to use X-rays to locate the source of her problem, so she was conducted to the dental unit with an X-ray machine, and her husband followed. The X-ray technician was lining up the cone of the machine preparatory to making the first exposure, when he noticed that the young woman's husband was standing beyond her, but in a position where he would receive some radiation after it passed through her teeth. Being well trained, the technician stopped and asked the fellow to move to a safer position. "Sir, please step over there. Too much of this radiation will make you sterile." A broad smile appeared on the young woman's face, he eyes grew wide with excitement, and she clapped her hands while saying, "Joe, come here, hold my hand!"
One evening a preschooler, Krystal, and her parents were sitting on the couch chatting. Krystal asked, " Daddy, are you the boss of the house?" Her father proudly replied, "Yes, I am the boss of the house." But Krystal quickly burst his bubble when she added, "Did Mommy tell you that you can play boss tonight, Daddy?"
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Virtual Tours
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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