Dear Webby, what causes hard drives to crash? 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  May 23, 2009

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. --- Jack Benny Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. --- John Kenneth Galbraith
If you get any mails about a SKYPE Alert, trash them. They are fake and lead to a malicious site in Romania. If you use MailWasher, it will be obvious enough, but if you don't, just remember that those Skype alerts in your email are totally fake. Skype NEVER tells you to click on a link. It tells you to log in normally and not via any link. DearWebby
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000." The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon. "Now then, I'm returning $5,000 to you, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old are you again?" "I am 78." The man said. "78?" asked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60 year old." "Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside to settle down." the man explained. "What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor. "I spent a lot of time in the great outdoors."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Oh-oh! Reverend is out collecting again!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to William J. Reese, 58, of Newhall, Benton County, Iowa Sent in by Lucille from Fake policeman tries to arrest real policeman Tuesday, May 12, 2009 A county jailer used a police car to impersonate a cop but pulled over a real deputy and started an old-fashioned car chase. William J. Reese, 58, used a fully-marked police car to pull over vehicles on the local highway. Fortunately one of his targets was a real, but off-duty, police officer who knew he wasn't legitimate. As the real officer pulled away and headed home to call the police, Reece pursued him at high speed. He eventually confronted the officer, screaming and abusing him in front of schoolchildren. The whole incident was recorded on a camera in Reece's stolen police car. He is due to appear in court on charges of impersonating an officer and wil probably get the book thrown at him. .
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sandi Re: Why do hard drives crash? Dear Webby, Iím curious Ė why does a disk that hasnít been properly defragged crash? I know that it gets so slow you start to feel like you could have done whatever you were attempting manually quicker, but I didnít know that it could cause crashing. Iíve had disks go, but Iíve always just blamed it on other things, like brownouts, bad spots on disk, etc. Speaking of whichÖ what program do you recommend for checking for bad spots? I donít have a good program for that Ė and I hate the windows version. It always seems that by the time windows recognizes a bad sector, something immovable is sitting on it. Thanks for all you do! I love your newsletter each day! Sandi Dear Sandi Windows allocates a certain amount of space and records for keeping track of where files are. So much, so good. That works fine if you never edit anything. However, when you do edit anything, whether it be a doc or a picture or music, it won't fit into the previous space. So part of it goes elsewhere. The same happens with downloads. Windows pours a download into the next hole, and what doesn't fit, into the next 999 holes, until the whole file is stashed somewhere. Tracking all that is rather tedious and takes time. That is the slowdown you notice. Where it gets nasty is when Windows runs out of the space that it allocated for the database that tracks all those file fragments. It does not automatically increase that space. In addition to that, it's database is set up to have a limit of a certain number of records. Again, there too, Windows does not automatically increase that number when needed. So you wind up with files parked not just in unmarked graves, but in unmarked countries. Since those graves are not recorded, Windows cheerfully parks new stuff in those places. Obviously, that leads to disaster, the inevitable hard drive crash, if you don't properly take care of the problem. Microsoft would prefer that you buy a new computer, which can handle their newest and klutziest Operating System, and that you buy a copy of that new OS. So they are not really interested in saving and keeping your drive, and their defrag is pretty well useless. The program, that DOES all that is needed, is DisKeeper. It analyzes your drives and writes a job report. In that it tells you, when it is time to expand the space or number of records used to track file allocation, and it has the tools built in to do that. Since that requires a reboot and doing all of that BEFORE Windows starts, it doesn't do it automatically (and scare hell out of you). It explains the process and warns you, that it will require a reboot, and that it will take some time to re-organize everything properly. However, that's not something that is needed often. Once you expand the space allocated for file maintenance, it should be good for 4-5 years. DisKeeper does the regular defragmentation, whenever the screen saver comes on, or at times you set, and it tells you in it's Job Report, when you need to do mor than just that.. Have FUN! DearWebby
A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom...."

The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at Email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you.
Daily tip from Use Two Shopping Lists to Save Money I think this is a money saver. Make 2 shopping lists. First a monthly list, in which items like; paper towels, TP, soap and other household items purchased, and a second weekly list for food items only. By Dawn from Henrico, VA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine."
A drunk walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill." So, the bartender does just that, and hands the man the bill. The drunk says, "I haven't got any money." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street. The very next day, the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill." The bartender figures that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt. He pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself, and hands the drunk the bill. Again, the drunk says, "I haven't got any money." The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him out into the street. The next day, the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says, "Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink and give me the bill." In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?" The drunk replies, "Nope! You get too violent when you drink."
Thanks to Sandie for this Bonus Link: Art
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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