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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  July 25, 2009

Prosperity belongs to those who learn new things the fastest." --- Paul Zane Pilzer When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. --- Thomas Szasz
"Look at ME!" boasted a man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, fifty sit- ups and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!" He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 65th birthday!" "Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How, with a bran muffin ? "
Just before our first long deployment, two Navy buddies and I were talking about the stress of leaving our families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard our conversation and offered the following advice: "You must be sensitive to your wives' emotional needs," he said. "Never, ever, whistle while you pack!"
Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You know, 80 percent of all men think the best way to end an argument is to make love." "Well," said the other, "that would certainly revolutionize the arguing after every football game about who should have won, !"
After sunset from my office window See the sliver of moon above the horizon?
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tracy Armstead, 29, of Houston, Texas Clerk gives robber a knuckle sandwich and a zap Jul 24, 3:30 PM (ET) HOUSTON (AP) - A robbery attempt in Houston turned into a knuckle sandwich for the suspect. Sandwich store clerk Yava Matthews punched the man in the mouth as he tried to get away with some money. Matthews said the man Monday night lunged over the counter and grabbed her cash drawer. Matthews said her "initial response was to hit him. So I hit him." Matthews said the two were then "tussling, tussling and tussling," so she asked customers and others witnessing the struggle if anyone had something to restrain the man. A lot of people were standing around and I told them to give me something. Somebody brought me some handcuffs, so I got him and I handcuffed him,” Matthews said. Then someone handed her a Taser. “I got the Taser in my hand and I am Tasing him and he says, ‘I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.’ I said, ‘If you can talk to me, you can breathe. So be quiet before I Taser you again,’” Matthews said. She says that Armstead, who is 5 feet 11 inches tall and weighs 235 pounds, began to cry. Seconds later, the police arrived. “There were about 15 police cars and I was so excited to see them. When they came, they told me that I could get up now, and I said, ‘Are you sure? Are you positive about that?’” said Matthews. Police are calling her a hero, but her customers are calling her Rambo.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bob Re: Which version of Vista Dear Webby; how do I check to se which version of windows I am running. on this computer......windows vista home premium. bob Dear Bob Try the Windows key plus PAUSE. Have FUN! DearWebby
"That new girl in the typing pool is driving me crazy!" bemoaned Rich to Ernie. "That girl is a real mirage." "Aren't you using the wrong word?" asked Ernie. "A mirage is something you can see but that isn't quite all there." "Yeah," came the reply "That describes her exactly!"


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Weather Planning for Vacation When planning a vacation, be aware of your destinations weather and temperatures. Some folks who come to Las Vegas, NV, think just because they're coming to "the desert", that it's going to be warm. Not if you come in the winter months, we, too, have cold weather. You might be be getting an inexpensive plane fare and hotel rates, but you could have to spend your savings at a local clothing store buying warmer clothes than what you brought with you. I've heard of lots of people who have to buy long sleeves shirts and jackets, after arriving to what they thought was going to be a warmer climate. By Terri from NV Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy: Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner: 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church,just jokes and fun for adults.
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The first week they were married Mick gave his wife almost all his wages for that week, except for fifty pence, which he kept for himself. The next pay-day his wife said to him "Mick, it must have been hard to manage on fifty pence for the week, I don't know how you did it." "You will" he said grimly, "It's your turn to have fifty pence this week...."
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Style Your Garage
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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