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It's Sunday,  August 9, 2009

You cannot get ahead while you are getting even. --- Dick Armey Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. --- Robert Frost Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. --- Mark Twain
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two." The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world." But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel this way about my mother moving in with us."
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions. One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "Called in SICK yesterday!" There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"
Thanks to Janina for this picture: Dear Webby! We recently vacationed in Seaside on the Oregon coast and experienced the thrill of seeing pelicans, seagulls, albatross and most thrilling was the daily visit of a bald eagle! Thanks again for all your great advice and humor! Keep up all the fun! Janina from New Jersey
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Keith Griffin, 48, of Jensen Beach, Florida Fla. man blames cat paws for child porn downloads Aug 7, 2:07 PM (ET) JENSEN BEACH, Fla. (AP) - Florida investigators say a man accused of downloading child pornography is blaming his cat. Keith Griffin of Jensen Beach is charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after detectives found more than 1,000 images on his home computer. According to a sheriff's report Friday, Griffin told investigators that his cat jumped on the computer keyboard while he was downloading music. He said he had left the room and found "strange things" on his computer when he returned. Griffin is being held on $250,000 bond in the Martin County jail. -------------- While you obviously can't blame 1000 pictures on a cat, I do remember an incident where a cat did cause some hilarity. In the early 90's there was a very advanced communication program called PowWow. That was before ICQ and Windows Messenger. It was actually quite advanced and had features even Skype still doesn't have yet. One of the features were "Macros". For example, I was able to save lengthy tech support responses as function key macros. Some friends in Texas had a mother, two sons, a daughter and a friend seated around a big table, each with their own computer. The mother and daughter were building web pages and occasionally asking me questions. The rest of them conferenced into our chat now and then, but usually kept to themselves. The boys started assigning cusswords to macros and had cussword fights amongst themselves. They got quite creative, colorful and descriptive, until one day their cat walked between a keyboard and a monitor, and switched their private cussword war to full conference. Their sister thought they were attacking her, and she was no slouch at all in cussing back.. You can probably imagine the pandemonium! It all got sorted out, though, before any blood was spilled onto keyboards. There sure were some red faces around that table, all because of that kitten.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Cookie Re: Send picture of the desktop Dear Webby Thanks for all you assistance again but... still can't seem to get it to work, maybe my Fn key is not functioning but it just will not copy over to email. Thanks again, Cookie Dear Cookie Just plug in a regular keyboard. Those silly laptop keyboards are not only unreliable nuisances, they damage your wrists! Regular keyboards are $1-$5 at yard sales, and $9.95 - whatever online. I always take a regular keyboard with me, even into the desert. Just plug in a regular keyboard. Those silly laptop keyboards are not only unreliable nuisances, they damage your wrists! Regular keyboards are $1-$5 at yard sales, and $9.95 - whatever online. I always take a regular keyboard with me, even into the desert. The problem could also be with your email. If it is strictly text and not a full featured program like good old Eudora, then you have to open a graphics program and paste the screen capture into, or as a new picture. Then you can save and attach that picture to your email. Have FUN! DearWebby
A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30 p.m. One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom - only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. "Dangit woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose EVERYTHING?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Baby Dresses for Toddler Tunic Tops My daughter received a lot of dresses in her first year of life. Rather than wear them once and pass them on, we are re-using them as tunic tops, now that they are too small to wear as dresses. What was a darling dress at 6 months old, is now an adorable shirt at 18 months! It helps me save money on the wardrobe and keep my daughter stylin'. By Alana from Avon, NY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. She came home and said to her mother, "I'm wasting my time. I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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A man and a woman are driving down the highway when another car passes them. The woman notices the occupants of the other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her boyfriend as they cruise on down the highway. This causes the woman to think back when she and her husband were young and in love, and wondering where the show of affection had disappeared to over the years. Finally she says to her husband, "Remember when we used to be like that young couple? Where did the love go, honey?" Her question was met with a few moments of silence while he threw a long glance at his gnarled hands on the steering wheel. Then he quietly replied, "I haven't moved...."
Cask, Keg or Barrel
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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