Dear Webby: Microsoft Mail problem 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  August 13, 2009

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. -- Jerome K. Jerome If you have clear skies tonight, watch for the Perseids meteor shower.
Bambi, a young lady sidled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said diffidently, "Doctor, may I ask a question?" "Certainly," he said. "Lately," said Bambi, "I have been having a funny pain right here over my heart..." The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Bambi, but the truth is, I'm a doctor of philosophy." "Oh," said Bambi, "I'm sorry!" She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is philosophy?"
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution, "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. Then I suggested that she try carrying several things at once." The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?" The expert replied, "Actually, yes. It used to take her twenty minutes to get breakfast ready. Now, I do it in seven."

A friend and I were driving to the mall when we came to a bridge under construction. The road narrowed to one lane, with a red light at either end. We stopped at the red light at on our side and when it turned green we started up again. Halfway through we met another car coming towards us. The driver leaned out his window and shouted, "I don't back up for idiots!" Putting his car into reverse, my friend called back, "No problem. I know how to do that."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Derrick Johnson, 31, and Lewis Bell, 41 from Rochester, NY Sent in by Karl Two inmates charged in plot to kill taxi driver, woman Two Monroe County Jail inmates are charged with plotting to kill a taxi driver one allegedly robbed and a woman who turned him in. In a sealed indictment opened Monday, Derrick Johnson, 31, and Lewis Bell, 41, were charged with two counts of the felony of second-degree conspiracy to commit murder. County Court Judge Alex R. Renzi ordered them held without bail after they pleaded not guilty. If convicted, they face up to 25 years in prison, said Assistant District Attorney Douglas A. Randall. The indictment alleges that from May 1 to June 17 Johnson and Bell enlisted the help of another inmate who arranged for them to meet a "hitman" who agreed to kill the taxi driver and woman for $5,000. The hitman, however, was an investigator from the District Attorney's Office.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Shields Re: Microsoft Mail problem Dear Webby, help! My laptop received for Father's Day has gone on the fritz and will neither send or receive e-mail. Instead, I get a pop-up informing me that I need a name and password to use the program. I have never, knowingly, created such in the use of my email's, previously. The only possible means of this suddenly appearing may be due to the downloading of a program which might have included this delimma. But I am at a loss to figure out what this particular program might be. Neither am I able to insert an email address and password to comply with such a request, since I am at a loss to locate said item in my computer. Shields Dear Shields I don't do support for Vista and Microsoft Mail, because I am not familiar with them. Unfortunately, you will have to contact Microsoft Support about that. Good Luck! DearWebby
A young executive is leaving the office one evening when he comes across the company president standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in hand. "Listen," says the president, "this is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," says the young executive. He turns the machine on, inserts the paper and presses the start button. "Excellent, excellent," says the president as his paper disappears inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Daily tip from Use a Shoe Holder to Organize Photographs I bought a shoe holder that I could hang on the back of my office door and instead of putting shoes in it, I use it to organize my photographs. I can find any picture that I'm looking for within a minute or two. From the shoe holder, I take the pictures and put them in photo albums. The shoe holder can be used to store all sorts of things, not just photographs. Store office supplies like scissors, stapler, pens, pencils, white out, etc. Bathroom supplies like door brushes, combs, extra soap, toothpaste, make-up, etc. By Carolee from Alabama Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one. "No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven." "You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor." The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas, " he interrupted, "the most powerful prayin' I ever did was while hangin' upside down from a power pole."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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A pastor was preaching an impassioned sermon on the evils of television. "It steals away precious time that could be better spent on other things," he said. He advised the congregation to do what he and his family had done. "We put our TV away in the closet." "That's right," his wife mumbled, "but it sure gets awfully crowded in there!"
Now see this!r
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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