Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  August 13, 2009

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one
has plenty of work to do.
-- Jerome K. Jerome

If you have clear skies tonight, watch for the Perseids
meteor shower. 


Bambi, a young lady sidled up to a guest at
the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor
and now she said diffidently,
"Doctor, may I ask a question?"
"Certainly," he said.
"Lately," said Bambi, "I have been having a funny pain
right here over my heart..."
The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said,
"I'm terribly sorry, Bambi, but the truth is, I'm a doctor
of philosophy."
"Oh," said Bambi, "I'm sorry!" She turned away, but
then overcome with curiosity, she turned back.
"Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind
of disease is philosophy?"


An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note
of caution, "You don't want to try these techniques at
home."
"Why not?" asked someone from the back of the
audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years,"
the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the
refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying
just a single item at a time. Then I suggested that she
try carrying several things at once."
The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?"

The expert replied, "Actually, yes. It used to take her
twenty minutes to get breakfast ready. Now, I do it in
seven."






A friend and I were driving to the mall when we came
to a bridge under construction. The road narrowed to
one lane, with a red light at either end. We stopped at
the red light at on our side and when it turned green
we started up again.
Halfway through we met another car coming towards
us.

The driver leaned out his window and shouted,
"I don't back up for idiots!"
Putting his car into reverse, my friend called back,
"No problem. I know how to do that."

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Derrick Johnson, 31, and Lewis Bell, 41 from Rochester, NY

Sent in by Karl

Two inmates charged in plot to kill taxi driver, woman
Two Monroe County Jail inmates are charged with plotting to 
kill a taxi driver one allegedly robbed and a woman who 
turned him in.

In a sealed indictment opened Monday, Derrick Johnson, 31, 
and Lewis Bell, 41, were charged with two counts of the felony 
of second-degree conspiracy to commit murder.

County Court Judge Alex R. Renzi ordered them held without 
bail after they pleaded not guilty. If convicted, they face up to 
25 years in prison, said Assistant District Attorney Douglas A. Randall.

The indictment alleges that from May 1 to June 17 Johnson and 
Bell enlisted the help of another inmate who arranged for them 
to meet a "hitman" who agreed to kill the taxi driver and woman 
for $5,000.

The hitman, however, was an investigator from the District 
Attorney's Office.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Shields
Re: Microsoft Mail problem

Dear Webby, help!  
My laptop received for Father's Day has gone on the fritz 
and will neither send or receive e-mail. Instead, I get a 
pop-up informing me that I need a name and password 
to use the program.

I have never, knowingly, created such in the use of my email's, 
previously. The only possible means of this suddenly appearing 
may be due to the downloading of a program which might have 
included this delimma. But I am at a loss to figure out what this 
particular program might be. Neither am I able to insert an email 
address and password to comply with such a request, since I 
am at a loss to locate said item in my computer.
Shields

Dear Shields
I don't do support for Vista and Microsoft Mail, 
because I am not familiar with them.
Unfortunately, you will have to contact Microsoft Support about that.
 
Good Luck!
DearWebby


A young executive is leaving the office one evening
when he comes across the company president
standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in
hand.
"Listen," says the president, "this is important, and my
secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," says the young executive. He turns the
machine on, inserts the paper and presses the start
button.
"Excellent, excellent," says the president as his paper
disappears inside the machine. "I just need one copy."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Use a Shoe Holder to Organize Photographs
I bought a shoe holder that I could hang on the back of my 
office door and instead of putting shoes in it, I use it to 
organize my photographs. I can find any picture that I'm 
looking for within a minute or two.

From the shoe holder, I take the pictures and put them in 
photo albums. The shoe holder can be used to store all sorts 
of things, not just photographs. Store office supplies like scissors, 
stapler, pens, pencils, white out, etc. Bathroom supplies 
like door brushes, combs, extra soap, toothpaste, make-up, etc.
By Carolee from Alabama 
 
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for
prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby.
"Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one.
"No," another contended. "I get the best results standing
with my hands outstretched to Heaven."
"You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most
effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face
down on the floor."
The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey,
fellas, " he interrupted, "the most powerful prayin' I ever
did was while hangin' upside down from a power pole."


Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked


A pastor was preaching an impassioned sermon on the
evils of television. "It steals away precious time that
could be better spent on other things," he said. He
advised the congregation to do what he and his family
had done. "We put our TV away in the closet."

"That's right," his wife mumbled, "but it sure gets awfully
crowded in there!"



 » Now see this!r

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Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

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