Dear Webby: Reliable registry 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  August 19, 2009


The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously. --- Henry Kissinger We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward. --- Dan Quayle
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. "Davy, what noise does a cow make?" "It goes moo." "Alice, what noise does a cat make?" "It goes meow." "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" "It goes baaa." "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?" "Errr.., it goes.. click!"
The owner of a manufacturing facility was complaining in a staff meeting one day, that he wasn't getting any respect. Next morning morning, he came in with a small sign that read, "I am the Boss!" and taped it to his office door. Later that day, when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that read, "Your wife called. She wants her sign back!"
Thanks to Cookie for sending this picture:
A little boy was taken to the dentist. The dentist discovered that the boy had a cavity that needed to be filled. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" The little boy replied, "Chocolate, please."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tjay Harrison, Hopkins, Minnesota Arrested Man Claims It's His Right To Be Naked HOPKINS, Minn A man who was arrested for indecent exposure told police it was his right as a man to lie naked in a park's volleyball court. Police said several parents and children saw Tjay Harrison naked in a Hopkins, Minn. park Tuesday afternoon. Officers recognized Harrison because they brought him to a hospital last weekend for a mental health check. Police said Harrison fought them during his arrest, and told them it was in his right to resist arrest. Police disagreed, and hauled him away.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ollie Re: Registry Cleanup Dear Webby I get so much mail telling me I need this or that registry program, or warning me that most of them are worse than nothing at all, or outright scams. Which one is the best and can be trusted? Ollie Dear Ollie I tried many, and by far the best one is from Uniblue. You can get it at http://webby.com/uniblue It really makes a difference, and with all the bug fixes that Microsoft pushes at us, you need something reliable to clean up the mess. Have FUN! DearWebby
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jimmy interrupted. "My Mommy looked back once while she was DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Empty Tissue Boxes for Small Trash Can Don't throw empty tissue boxes away. They can have a second life as perfect little trash cans for a vanity table or bathroom! Having one where you do your makeup makes it so much easier to throw used cotton swabs, eyeliner shavings, etc. neatly away. This is how I use them, but they could probably be used in crafts, too. When it's full, you can just throw it away. By Paula from San Francisco, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Here is a joke that I cleaned up and re-wrote to this version a few years ago and that came back to me now unchanged, just the way I put it: On some air bases, the military is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day, on just such a field, the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If you are a commercial airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If you are an Air Force aircraft, it is 1500 hours. If you are a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If you are an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If you are a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon. If you are in the National Guard, it's still a couple of hours until quitting time."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. Thursday at 5:00 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
Speed Traps
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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