Dear Webby: Ink expiry date 

Zoom the font size for best readability  
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  August 20, 2009

If you have to write your ethical rules down, it's already too late. --- Tom Clancy
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES." When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."
An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me." "My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles away." "I know, but a letter marked "Private, for George only" came for you this morning and I opened it." He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?" "In the postscript," she answered. "It said: 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George.'
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Robert Edward Cook, 58, in Jacksonville, Florida Man Dials 911 For Help Finding Hidden Booze A Florida man was arrested for dialing 911 and asking for help in finding the liquor his family hid from him. The Jacksonville sheriff's office says deputies went to the home of 58-year-old Robert Edward Cook and discovered his family had hidden all the booze in the house because he was drunk. After confirming Cook made the call to get police assistance in finding the alcohol, he was charged with making a false 911 call.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Matt Re: Ink expiry date Dear Webby I must say, that opening your letter every morning is an excellent way to start any day. Now for my question. I've had my hp officejet v40 printer scanner fax and copier for 7 years or so, without a days trouble from it, until I changed the colour cartridge the other day, the brand new cartridge would only print in red. I was told to check the expiry date, by a techi friend, and it was out of date by 6 months. I was then told that my officejet could detect that it was out of date, hence wouldn't print correctly. I then put in another new cartridge, which wasn't out of date, and hey presto it printed perfectly, was this just a fluke? Both cartridges were still in their boxes, sealed. Thanks Matt Dear Matt The expiry date would not cause the printer to go on strike, but a dried up nozzle does. There is a reason they put an expiry date onto the cartridges! They know in what time frame the nozzles clog up when not in use. With liquid ink it's best not to stock up, unless you buy jugs and refill yourself, like we used to do until we switched to Laser. The dry laser toner has no expiry. It is already dry. Have FUN! DearWebby
A group of Winnebago drivers on route back to Florida for the winter were sitting in a truck stop. To blend in with the truckers, they had to complain about something, so they were exchanging notes about their ailments. "My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup." "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee." "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck." "My blood pressure pills make my dizzy." "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old." "Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive!"
Daily tip from Make Your Own "Whiteboard" You can make little "white boards" with pieces of cardboard that are coated with a slick surface. Or use a piece of metal painted a light color. I recycled several different surfaces, including slick portfolio covers and an old magnetic play board, to use when I was tutoring a lot. Use pens meant for white boards. By Pam from L.A., CA Old cutting boards scraped or sanded, and painted with a marine laquer or varnish, make great indestructible laptop whiteboards. The same works too for room or cabinet doors. Just make sure you use a laquer or varnish, not a latex paint. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young couple, petrified by lava, had been discovered. They had been surprised in the act of making love. "How awful !" exclaimed the wife. "Si, but what a great way to spend eternity." added the guide.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
A minister who was very fond of pure, hot horseradish always kept a bottle of it on his dining room table. He offered some to a guest, who took a big spoonful. When the guest finally was able to speak, he gasped, "I've heard many ministers preach hellfire, but you are the first one I've met who passed out a sample of it."
Fast Facts
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

[ view entry ] ( 190 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 1153 )

<<First <Back | 116 | 117 | 118 | 119 | 120 | 121 | 122 | 123 | 124 | 125 | Next> Last>>