Dear Webby, Is there going to be an Internet shut-down? 

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It's Sunday,  August 30, 2009

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. ---Mark Twain
A Scotsman went to the zoo for the first time. At one cage, he stopped and asked the keeper, "Now, what animal would that be?" The zoo keeper said, "That's a moose from Canada." "A moose!" exclaimed the Scotsman, "Hoots man! They must ha' rrrats like elephants o'er there!"
A doctor of psychology at a mental institution was doing his normal morning rounds, when he entered a patient's room. He found one patient sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Another patient was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked the patient on the floor what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" Then the doctor asked him what the other patient was doing. He said, "Oh, he's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a light bulb." The doctor looked up at the patient hanging from the ceiling and noticed his face was flushing red. The doctor said to the first patient on the floor: "If he is your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself." And the patient said, "What? And work in the dark?"
Thanks to Sandie for forwarding this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Renee Lashon Beavers, 33, of Detroit Woman's license suspended 45 times Renee Lashon Beavers, 33, of Detroit FERNDALE, Mich., Aug. 26 (UPI) -- Police in Michigan said a woman whose driver's license was suspended 45 times was arrested while driving a reported stolen car with a beer on her lap. Ferndale police said Renee Lashon Beavers, 33, of Detroit, had a 24-ounce can of beer on her lap when an officer spotted her driving the 1999 Dodge Stratus and pulled her over just after midnight Tuesday, the Detroit Free Press reported Wednesday. Beavers told police she purchased the car from a woman at a shelter in Adrian, Mich., for $1,000 and took the vehicle despite the other woman's demand for an additional $400. Police said they found an unsigned title to the car in its glove compartment. Investigators said Beavers' driver's license was revoked after it was suspended 45 times in Detroit and its suburbs. Lt. William Wilson said police are planning to ask prosecutors to press charges of driving with a suspended license and having an open container of alcohol in the car.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sandra Re: Internet shutdown imminent Dear Webby I read that the law for shutting down the Internet is imminent and could be called into action if health care protests get too organized. What are we to do then? Sandra Dear Sandra You sure find some hilarious BS on Yahoo ! Don't you realize that all that exaggerated BS and outright lies are just to deafen you to anybody REALLY crying wolf? All that BS has probably been written by agitators to deafen you. In reality, Obama is not interested in shutting down the Internet. He much rather have everybody forwarding BS and nattering on Yahoo and Twitter, than out on the streets throwing rocks. Jay Rockefeller, who acts like a clueless West Virginia hillbilly, reworded Iran's Gag Law with dogooderish vocabulary, and put it out as a discussion draft, mainly to get his name into the news. There is no substance to his draft. It is so vague that nobody in the industry knows yet, whether to lobby for or against it. That's all. Whenever there is an actual hacker threat against large portions of the Internet, the IT industry deals with it thousands of times faster than any government intervention could. As long as you pay your Internet connection invoice, you will have access to the Internet. Have FUN! DearWebby
An old-timer is someone who remembers every detail of their life story, but cannot remember how many times they have told the same person.
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A young boy comes running down the street looking for a cop. He finds one and then begs, "Please, officer, come back to the bar with me, my father's in a fight." Well, they get back to the bar and there's three guys fighting like you wouldn't believe. After a while the cop turns to the kid and says, "Okay, which one's your father?" The kid looks up at the cop and says, "I don't know, officer. That's what they're fighting about."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer. "As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say '$275.' If his eyes don't flutter, say, 'For the frames. The lenses will be $250.' If his eyes still don't flutter, you add 'Each.'" ------------------ Btw., did you know that if farmers had the same mark-ups as optometrists, eggs would cost over $100 ? Each!
World Meters
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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