Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  September 21, 2009


Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy.
--- Janet Long

The two most common elements in the universe are 
Hydrogen and stupidity.
--- Harlan Ellison

If the English language made any sense, 
a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
--- Doug Larson


Church service coincided with the last day of hunting
season. The pastor asked who had bagged a deer.

No one raised a hand.

Puzzled, the pastor said, "I don't get it. Last Sunday
many of you said you were missing because of
hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for
your deer."

One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked. The deer are all safe.
Next time pray for the hunters!"


A man went on a ski trip, and was knocked
unconscious by the chair lift. He called his insurance
company from the hospital, but it refused to cover his
injury.
"Why is the injury not covered?" he asked.
"You got hit in the head by a chair lift," the insurance
rep said.
"That makes you an idiot, and we consider that a pre-
existing condition."


Thanks to Sue for this picture:


 Daturas

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Matthew Mylett, 23 of Bradenton, Florida

Definitely too drunk to drive
Manatee County, Florida - A man stopped for reckless driving and 
driving without headlights in Bradenton is in jail this morning after 
deputies say he backed his pickup truck into one of their cars.

Manatee County Sheriff's investigators say 23-year-old Matthew 
Mylett was pulled over around 2 a.m. Sunday on State Road 64. 
They say Mylett put his truck into reverse and backed into 
Deputy Josetta Coleman's patrol car, causing about $2,000 in damage.

Deputies say Mylett failed a field sobriety test. He is charged with DUI.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From:Margee
Re: Does McAfee slow down your computer?

Dear Webby,
Question about McAfee.  Does it slow down you
computer when running ordinary programs?  Or 
is it only a problem on rare occasions?
 
Thanks, Margee :)
>/i>
Dear Margee
You can schedule the scanning for times when you are not 
doing anything strenuous, however, a scan doesn't slow down 
things very much anyway.

The update downloads naturally slow down other downloads, 
that you try to do at the same time. If you are downloading a 2 GB 
movie at the same time, on slow dial-up, it all has to come through 
your modem. If you are trying to do some fast shopping at the 
some time, it will be frustratingly slow. But that is because your 
modem can handle only so much traffic.

That applies to ANY virus protection, not just McAfee. McAfee 
probably sends updates a bit more often than others, but on a 
fast connection you barely notice it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


A freshman walked into the campus bookstore.
Questioning the store clerk about a book for one of
his classes, the clerk responded, "This is the book
you want for that class. It will do half the work for
you!"
"Great," the young man replied, "I'll take two."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Celebrate!
Develop a sense of occasion! Life is so much nicer when broken 
up with little celebrations, for birthdays, anniversaries and the 
other holidays throughout the year. You don't have to fall victim 
to the advertising hype. Just have simple but heartfelt festive 
touches and maybe some feasting! Being careful with your 
money doesn't mean that you have to be grim!
By Pam from Los Angeles 

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


The Father, passing thru the son's college town late
one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a
surprise visit to the boy.

Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the
door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy
voice drifted down from a second floor window.

"Whaddya want?"

"Does Jimmy Duncan live here?" asked the father.
"Yeah!" replied the voice. "Just dump him on the front
porch as usual. We'll hose him down and try to sober 
him up in the morning."


Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Right outside her front door, Joe's mother had
a thermometer that never seemed to tell the correct
temperature. One chilly day, we all noticed that the
thermometer, which was in direct sunlight, read a
balmy 72 degrees.
"Mom," Joe's wife suggested without thinking, "you
should stick that thing where the sun doesn't shine."



 » Sound Waves

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Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

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