Dear Webby, does McAfee slow down your computer? 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  September 21, 2009

Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy. --- Janet Long The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity. --- Harlan Ellison If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. --- Doug Larson
Church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. The pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled, the pastor said, "I don't get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were missing because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer." One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked. The deer are all safe. Next time pray for the hunters!"
A man went on a ski trip, and was knocked unconscious by the chair lift. He called his insurance company from the hospital, but it refused to cover his injury. "Why is the injury not covered?" he asked. "You got hit in the head by a chair lift," the insurance rep said. "That makes you an idiot, and we consider that a pre- existing condition."
Thanks to Sue for this picture: Daturas
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Matthew Mylett, 23 of Bradenton, Florida Definitely too drunk to drive Manatee County, Florida - A man stopped for reckless driving and driving without headlights in Bradenton is in jail this morning after deputies say he backed his pickup truck into one of their cars. Manatee County Sheriff's investigators say 23-year-old Matthew Mylett was pulled over around 2 a.m. Sunday on State Road 64. They say Mylett put his truck into reverse and backed into Deputy Josetta Coleman's patrol car, causing about $2,000 in damage. Deputies say Mylett failed a field sobriety test. He is charged with DUI.
From the Tech Support Pits: From:Margee Re: Does McAfee slow down your computer? Dear Webby, Question about McAfee. Does it slow down you computer when running ordinary programs? Or is it only a problem on rare occasions? Thanks, Margee :) >/i> Dear Margee You can schedule the scanning for times when you are not doing anything strenuous, however, a scan doesn't slow down things very much anyway. The update downloads naturally slow down other downloads, that you try to do at the same time. If you are downloading a 2 GB movie at the same time, on slow dial-up, it all has to come through your modem. If you are trying to do some fast shopping at the some time, it will be frustratingly slow. But that is because your modem can handle only so much traffic. That applies to ANY virus protection, not just McAfee. McAfee probably sends updates a bit more often than others, but on a fast connection you barely notice it. Have FUN! DearWebby
A freshman walked into the campus bookstore. Questioning the store clerk about a book for one of his classes, the clerk responded, "This is the book you want for that class. It will do half the work for you!" "Great," the young man replied, "I'll take two."
Daily tip from Celebrate! Develop a sense of occasion! Life is so much nicer when broken up with little celebrations, for birthdays, anniversaries and the other holidays throughout the year. You don't have to fall victim to the advertising hype. Just have simple but heartfelt festive touches and maybe some feasting! Being careful with your money doesn't mean that you have to be grim! By Pam from Los Angeles Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

The Father, passing thru the son's college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window. "Whaddya want?" "Does Jimmy Duncan live here?" asked the father. "Yeah!" replied the voice. "Just dump him on the front porch as usual. We'll hose him down and try to sober him up in the morning."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Right outside her front door, Joe's mother had a thermometer that never seemed to tell the correct temperature. One chilly day, we all noticed that the thermometer, which was in direct sunlight, read a balmy 72 degrees. "Mom," Joe's wife suggested without thinking, "you should stick that thing where the sun doesn't shine."
Sound Waves
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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