Dear Webby: : Confirmed Opt-In problem for Earthlink users 

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It's Thursday,  October 1, 2009

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. --- Douglas Adams
A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' station saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too...."
One of the matrons of the church was cooking a pot of her famous beans for the church potluck, and her son, Little Johnny, came running through the house, BB gun in one hand, and a handful of BBs in the other. He tripped and the BBs, naturally, went right into the pot of beans. Thinking it over, Little Johnny could think of no reason why he should risk punishment, so he said nothing. The dinner went well, and, as usual, the beans were one of the favorite dishes. The next day, the church secretary, Mary, called Little Johnny's mother and said, "Jane, your beans were delicious as usual, but what did you put in them this time?" Jane replied, "Nothing new, why do you ask?" "Well," said Mary, "this morning I bent over to feed the cat and shot the canary."
Above high water
"Welcome to heaven, here's your harp and your tuning key." "Welcome to hell, here's your harp." Q: What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe? A: Lawnmowers can be tuned.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Billy Ray Hale, 21 of Jonesborough, Tennessee Police Bonanza JONESBOROUGH, Tenn. Washington County authorities say a motorcyclist riding down the road without a helmet led to a series of discoveries and three arrests. The Johnson City Press reports that when officers stopped 21-year-old Billy Ray Hale outside his home on Tuesday, they found he wasn't alone. Hale also had an 18-month-old baby on board, also without a helmet. As they wrote him up for reckless endangerment, evading arrest and driving on a suspended license, officers learned another man at the home was a fugitive from North Carolina. They arrested him as well. But before the officers could leave, they spotted a third man breaking into a nearby barn. So they arrested him, too.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Earthlink Re: Challenge-response I have had an Earthlink account since the days when Earthlink's current "support" staff was still in diapers, mostly just for traveling and as a back-up for when my DSL is down. It is rather sad. Earthlink used to be such a good company. I don't have a problem with my own Earthlink account, but a lot of Earthlink users have problems wth receiving postcards or subscribing to newsletters. They use an optional Challenge-Response system, that is not adequately explained to them, and don't get their mail. For example, let's say Betty-Sue wants to subscribe to her curch newsletter, a prim and proper newsletter that obbeys the law according to the CANSPAM act and sends an email to her to verify that she actually wants the curch newsletter, and was not secretly subscribed by a pastor, who wants to increase the size of his list. Well, poor ol Betty-Sue never gets that request to authorize, because the Earthlink Challenge-Response system sends an email to the newsletter program, expecting it to fill out a page full of stupid questions. Naturally, the newsletter program, which was expecting a response from Betty-Sue, not from, considers that a moron malfunction, and dumps it. It . The request to authorize is sent by an auto-responder, and any response to an auto-responder by another auto-responder would lead to a loop, that could escalate to bring the Internet down, if it was not dumped. That is pretty basic and well understood by all programmers, except those at Earthlink. So I wrote to Earthlink support about it. Naturally, nobody there knows how to read email, and an auto-responder told me to try their support chat. After wasting time getting into a chat written for Netscape and telling me to use Netscape or IE, - yeah, I do still remember the good old days of Netscape -, I finally got connected to one of their pet Taliban. I asked him if he knew what Double-Opt-In or Confirmed Opt in meant and was all about. He had aboslutely no clue. He didn't even know if that was a cave or edible. So I patiently explained it to him, using small words and short sentences, but I doubt that he understood. He didn't know which canned response to paste. He simply could not understand that it was not me, who had a problem, but that Earthlink had to tell their users to FIRST whitelist, then subscribe, NOT first subscribe and then complain, that they don't get what they wanted to subscribe to. So, if you have friends on Earthlink, please explain the Confirmed Opt-In system to them. Have FUN! DearWebby
A three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left shoe was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up with a puzzled look and said, "Mom, thefe are MY feet!"
Daily tip from Capping a Caulk Tube When cutting the top off a tube of caulking, save the end piece. When you are finished using the caulking, turn the piece around and insert into the tube hole. You have a perfect cap and no more dried out caulking. By Connie from Evansville, IN A large lag screw doesn't get spit out when the flexible caulk expands and contracts with temperature changes and keeps the caulk usable much longer. DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse, put the green mud-pack on her face, the teeth-whitening cartridge in her mouth and proceeded to wash her hair and stick curlers into it. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel over her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that monfter ?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Jimmie and Johnnie were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs, "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE. I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO. I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "I know, but Gramma is!"
Another Road Trip
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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