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It's Wednesday,  November 4, 2009

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. ---Jerome K. Jerome Adolescence and snow are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough. --- Socratex
Joe: I see you've lost weight since you started your new job. Did your boss put you on a diet?" Amy: No, she put me on commission.
A reporter from Chicago was visiting an old colleague, who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town. "I don't see how you do it," the reporter said. "How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing?" "Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper to see who got caught at it."
Thanks to Cookie for sendng this picture: 64 Park Lane, when cars had style and decent trunks
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a drunk forklift driver in Moscow $150,000 worth of booze spilled A fork lift driver in Moscow was sampling too much of his own product when he drunkenly plowed his vehicle into the stock shelves of vodka and cognac in the storeroom where he worked. The result was a spectacular crash in which $150,000 worth of liquor rained down around him. Amazingly, he escaped with nothing but a leg injury. Epic Forklift Incident
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Patti Re: FireFox Zoom without mouse How do you zoom firefox if you're not using a mouse? I keep hitting the escape button but I'm still here. Dear Patti If you are mouse deprived, hold down the CTRL key and hit the + key to make the text and pictures larger, or CTRL and - to make them smaller. If you also miss the numeric key pad, then you have to hold down CTRL and produce the + and - with the SHIFT key and the appropriate keys in the top row. By the way, you CAN plug a mouse into a USB port on a netbook or laptop. You can even go a step further and also plug in a standard keyboard. Your wrists will appreciate it! Have FUN! DearWebby
The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Craft: Use Lace for a Subtle Pattern I wanted a subtle pattern on the table that I painted and then thought of the idea that I used quite some time ago on a trunk. First I primed and painted the table a soft green and let it dry. Then I bought some lace with a large pattern and laid it over the top. I sprayed in a very soft gray. I also did the drawers. This matches very nicely with other things in my bedroom but, if you wanted to, you could make the contrast more extreme and it would also look good. I then put a coat of water based polyurethane on it. By Elaine from Iowa Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. "You should try some Tums and eat properly!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Delightful old classic that I have not featured in a long time: One nun is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants? SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So, the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And?? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run a lot faster than a man with his pants down! (...And, for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's...! )

Formal Gardens
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com

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