How to get rid of Cyber Security? 

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It's Friday,  November 6, 2009
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"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." --- Tom Wilson "But he that dares not grasp the thorn, Should never crave the rose." --- Anne Bronte
A flying saucer was low on fuel, so it landed near a local gas station. On its side were the letters "UFO." The gas station attendant was stunned, but his curiosity got the best of him. "Does that stand for Unidentified Flying Object?", he asked. "No," one of the other-worldly travelers responds. "It stands for 'Unleaded Fuel Only.' "
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic and the nurse had to hit him with the fire extinguisher."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Mary Strey, 49, of Granton, Wisconsin Another "Aware of the problem DUI driver NEILSVILLE, Wis. The call came into the 911 dispatcher: "I don't want to hurt anybody. I'm drunk." And with that, Mary Strey, 49, of Granton, reported herself as a drunken driver about three miles northeast of Neilsville in central Wisconsin. Clark County Sheriff's Chief Deputy Jim Backus said Monday that Strey's call on Oct. 24 led deputies to cite her for misdemeanor drunken driving with a blood-alcohol level double the legal limit to drive. She makes her first court appearance Dec. 10. Backus said drunken drivers reporting themselves is rare. In the 911 call, Strey said she wanted to report a drunken driver and the dispatcher asked if she was behind the suspect vehicle. "I am them," Strey said. She then followed the dispatcher's advice to pull over and turn on her flashers, telling him she had been "drinking all night long."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Linda Re: Cyber Security Dear Webby, Please let me know how to remove cyber security. Thanks, Linda Dear Linda That is some very nasty stuff you got there! I searched the web, and this seems to be the easiest way to get rid of "Cyber Security": Spywarevoid Have FUN! DearWebby
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked: "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old lady standing beside her. "Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled.
Daily tip from Christmas Club Accounts This tip is late for this year but (I think) invaluable for the years to come. Get a Christmas Club account at your bank. They either deduct a set amount from your checking account ($20 a month or more) or you deposit monthly. It runs for 10 months and at the end of the time Oct/Nov you get a check for the years' amount plus interest. I'm careless about putting money by every month, but if it's not in the account, I can't spend it and then I have a lump sum when I most need it. One year I had to draw out the accumulated dollars in the summer, but I've done this for a long time. By Susan from Bristol TN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A 6 year old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees". When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Colonel Jack: What's your name, driver? Driver: Alfred, sir. Colonel Jack: I always call my drivers by their last names. What's your last name, driver? Driver: It's Sweetheart, sir. Colonel Jack: Drive on, Alfred.

Famous Folks
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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