Mail during vacation 

Zoom the font size for best readability  
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  November 8, 2009

One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. --- Oscar Wilde The cure for writer's cramp is writer's block. --- Inigo DeLeon
One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife: " What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied, he continued on for another twenty minutes, repeating his question. This time he received a response of eighty percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen more minutes and repeated his question. With thoughts of Sunday dinner, all responded except one older lady in the rear. "Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," replied Mrs. Jones. "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Eighty six," was the reply. "Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a woman can live to eighty six and not have an enemy in the world." The old woman teetered down the aisle and slowly turned around. "It's easy. I just outlived all them rotten no-good bitches and sons-o-bitches!"

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrew J. Burwitz, 20, of Appleton, Wis. Driveby Shooting with the window up Andrew J. Burwitz, 20, of Appleton, Wis., tried to do a drive-by shooting at the home of his ex-girlfriend's family and another random house. Police found him because he failed to roll down his car window and shattered it when he made the first shot. He was charged Wednesday with four counts of first-degree reckless endangerment, four counts of endangering safety by reckless use of a firearm, disorderly conduct and criminal damage to property. According to court documents, the occupants of the house in the Town of Buchanan were awakened about 2 a.m. Monday to the sounds of breaking glass. They saw a car driving off and found two bullets had struck the exterior of the house and three had entered the living room. None of the four people in the house was injured. The ex-girlfriend was attending school out of state. Sheriff's deputies examining the area found broken auto glass in the street, and, later that day, contacted area auto glass repair shops and found Burwitz had his car window replaced after filing an insurance claim. He was not charged with attempted murder or drunk driving. That is apparently normal in that part of Wisconsin.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Mail during vacation Dear Webby, I am going to Hawaii for a couple of weeks on the 18th of Nov.. Is there anyway to stop my inbox from getting plugged up short of unsubscribing to everything prior to going away? In May I will be going to Germany for 5 weeks and of course the problem will be much bigger then. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated - as are all your helpful suggestions. Take Care Ann Dear Ann Yes, unsubscribing is indeed the best way. Anything else will just cause problems for you. It doesn't take that long to click on the unsubscribe line at the bottom of newsletters. Have FUN! DearWebby
Q. What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? A. The car salesman knows when he's lying to you
Daily tip from Turn Greeting Cards into Postcards To recycle cards and save trees, I turn cards I receive into postcards and re use them. Usually people only write on the inside page so I cut off the front page with the picture on it and then write my own message or greeting on the blank back page along with the address and it is now a postcard. I always get asked where I find such fun postcards and with the price of cards being $2-4 and postage being cheaper for a postcard I save quite a bit each time I send a postcard greeting! By Kate from Chicago, Illinois Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

The Classifieds - 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. - Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. - A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. - The hotel has howling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
At long last the good-humoured boss was compelled to call Fisk into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor." "You know, you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?"

The Fun Theory
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

[ view entry ] ( 125 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 995 )

<<First <Back | 114 | 115 | 116 | 117 | 118 | 119 | 120 | 121 | 122 | 123 | Next> Last>>