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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  November 15, 2009

"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own." --- Doug Larson "If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off her allowance." --- Al Bernstein The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. --- Mark Twain
A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family at the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7 year old daughter out for a drive in the car. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold that he really didn't feel like driving at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and decided that for this Sunday she would take their daughter out. They returned just before lunch and the little girl ran upstairs to see her father. "Well" the father asked, "did you enjoy your ride with Mommy?" "Oh yes Daddy" the girl replied, "and do you know what.......we didn't see a single bastid or dingbat, 'cause Mommy was doing the dingbat stuff herself and scared them all away!"
A Texan is bragging to a Rhode Islander. "In Texas," he drawls, "you can get on a train, ride all day long, and still be in Texas by nightfall." "Well", replies the Yankee, "We have some rather slow trains in Rhode Island too, but none that are THAT slow."
Kathrina was visiting the modern art museum and turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she sneered, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "No madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Shawn Montero, Pompano beach, Florida Look before you leak Florida) Traffic was moving slowly on southbound I-95. Shawn Montero had left a Pompano Beach bar with three friends, and now all four were stuck in traffic. You don't buy beer, you just rent it, and Shawn couldn't wait another moment to relieve himself. "I need to take a leak." Traffic was deadlocked, so the waterlogged man climbed out, put his hand on the divider, and jumped over the low concrete wall... only to fall 65 feet to his death. "He probably thought there was a road, but there wasn't," said a Fort Lauderdale police spokesman. His mother shared her thoughts. "Shawn didn't do a whole lot for a living. He got along on his charm, just like his father." Though his death was tragic, it proves the old adage. "Look before you leak!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ellen Re: New browser window for new links Dear Webby. I managed to set the file explorer to open new windows for jumping into deeper or different folders, but I can't seem to set a browser to do that consistently. Someimes it is impossible to get back, and I have to search through the history, log in again, etc. What's the trick? Ellen Dear Ellen Just hold down the SHIFT key when you click on a link, and it will open a fresh browser or fresh tab, without losing or affecting the original page. Have FUN! DearWebby
In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance. His veterinarian's office was about a mile down the road, and Catcher would usually go there. The office staff knew him and would call me to come pick him up. One day I called the vet to make an appointment for Catcher's yearly vaccine. "Will you bring him," asked the receptionist, "or will he come on his own?"
Daily tip from Freshen House While You Vacuum Here's a good way to freshen your house while you vacuum. When putting a new vacuum cleaner bag in your machine, place a cotton ball soaked in clove or you favorite scented oil inside the bag (or in the plastic container on the bag-less models). It fills your home with a nice aroma and doesn't get into the carpet, or harm pets or children. By Carolyn from Floral Park, NY The little cloth baggies filled with cedar shavings, that you put into linen trunks to banish pests, work great too. For the Christmas season you can fill a cloth baggie with tree or wreath trimmings. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

On a visit to Chicago, Jill was eager to visit a posh department store about a dozen blocks from their hotel. Her husband obligingly hailed a cab. They got in and he told the driver, "My wife wants to go to Neiman Marcus." The cabby looked over his shoulder at us and said, "And the gentleman? Does he want to go to the bank or the pawn shop?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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During a sermon the pastor stated that money wasn't important in the afterlife, because in heaven, there is no money. One parishioner loudly stage-whispered to his wife, "Did you hear that, Maude? We're already in heaven."

Worldwide Telescope
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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