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It's Monday,  November 16, 2009

"You are only as strong as your purpose, therefore let us choose reasons to act that are big bold righteous and eternal." --- Barry Munro
A man appears at a woman's front door and announces, "Madam, I'm the piano tuner." "I didn't call for a tuner," the piano-playing woman replies. "I know, lady," the man says. "Your neighbor did."
Friday, we had a tornado drill. We were in the generator pit under underneath the garage and there's a PA announcement "This is a tornado drill. Please move quickly away from any and all windows." Somebody yelled out: "Quick, get to a DOS prompt!"
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a woman in her 20s and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asks a friend. "With her, your chances are better," says the friend, "if you tell her you're 90 and have a heart problem."
Thanks to Roland for this picture: No Gullible Warming in Colorado either.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Veletta Cuba Newman, 31, of Bluff City, Tennessee Woman who mistook cop for Sonic car hop faces DUI ELIZABETHTON, Tenn. (AP) - A woman who mistook a police officer for a car hop at a Sonic drive-in was charged with DUI and possession of drug paraphernalia. A caller to 911 Saturday reported the woman nearly struck several vehicles before pulling into the drive-in. The Johnson City Press reported Elizabethton Police Officer Sarah Ellison found the woman slumped over the steering wheel. When Ellison tried to get the woman's attention, the woman handed her a $20 bill, continuing to offer it even after she identified herself as an officer. The woman was arrested and the officer found a syringe, a spoon with white powdery residue and numerous bottles of prescription medicine in the car. A hearing was set for next April, and since they don't really want to put up with her until then, her bail was reduced to $1000, giving her a chance to add more charges between now and then..
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dee Re: XP or W7 ? Dear Webby. Looking at buying a mini notebook. What is the difference/pros/cons between Windows XP (which I use now) and Windows 7 Starter? Thanks. Mr. Dee Dear Mr Dee XP works well and reliably and is a good general purpose OS. Linux is very fast and reliable for getting actual work done, but unless you have a Penguin (Linux User) as a friend and mentor, can be time consuming for vague goofing around and experimenting. Like UNIX, it is more work oriented, and a lot of newer play stuff doesn't have Linux versions. Vista is slow and buggy, but machines with Vista pre-loaded are subsidized and therefore usually cheaper. W7 SP2 might be OK, in 2012, but it's too early to tell. Ask me again some time after the next presidential election. They haven't even fixed most of the Vista problems yet, and if you want the machine for getting work done, it is definitely way too early to become an unpaid tester for W7. Have FUN! DearWebby
A lawyer was cross-examining a witness: "You have just testified that you heard the shot at exactly 11:32 p.m.? How did you know what time it was? Did you look at your watch?" "No," the witness said. "I looked at the sundial in the garden." "That's absurd," screamed the lawyer. "How could you tell time by a sundial at 11:32 at night?" "I had a flashlight," the witness said.
Daily tip from Use Thanksgiving Weekend to Sort and Donate Extra Stuff Thanksgiving weekend is a great time to go through all you're grateful to have, and donate as much as you can! Since so many of us have a lot of time off for Thanksgiving, it's a good time to go through stuff and see all you've been blessed with. If you're like us, you've been blessed with an abundance, even if you mostly buy used stuff in the first place! So, if you're bored between now and the shopping frenzy of the weekend, consider sorting through it all. Craft supplies, toys, clothes, books - in this season of spending and plenty, there's lots of folks who'll be doing their holiday shopping at thrift stores. If you can, donate generously. It clears space for you and gives back to your community. And, seeing what you're donating can even help you choose purchases during the upcoming New Year a bit more wisely. By Dorrie from Norman, OK Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A travelling salesman finds himself stranded in the tiniest town in Australia. He knocks on the door of a little hotel. "Sorry, we don't have a spare room," says the manager, "but you're welcome to share with a little red-headed schoolteacher, if that's okay." "Oh, that'll be great," says the bloke, grinning from ear to ear."And don't worry, I'll be a real gentleman." "Just as well," says the manager. "So will the little red-headed schoolteacher."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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PUN WARNING: At a church meeting the topic was "Burial or Cremation?" Two of the people got rather worked up. One said to the other, "If you have yourself cremated, all you will be doing is making an ash of yourself!" The other replied, "Well, I'm told that petroleum comes from fossilized bones, so if you have yourself buried all you will be doing is making a fuel of yourself!" GROANER ALERT: What disease can you get from kissing birds? Chirpes! (A canarial disease, but it's untweetable.)

World ining
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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