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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  November 17, 2009

"We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts." --- Harold Nicholson "When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, 'The handle is one of us!'" --- Turkish proverb Laugh, and the world laughs with you, snore, and you sleep alone. --- Anthony Burgess
Psychology was tried on a difficult hiccough case. All simple remedies had failed and the physician, knowing that his patient was an old tightwad, resorted to a stratagem. He administered a new, cheap medicine. This drew from the patient an inquiry as to its contents. "Chiefly musk," said the doctor. "But isn't that the expensive stuff they use in perfumes?" "Yes," said the doctor. "Each dose of this costs thirty dollars." The hiccoughs immediately stopped.
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
Morris goes to visit his cardiologist in follow up after his life threatening heart attack. The doctor explains to Morris that he would be able to resume his active sex life as soon as he could climb three flights of stairs without becoming winded. Morris listens attentively and then says,"I haven't been able to walk 3 flights of stairs without getting winded since high school. Guess I'll have to stick to women who live on the ground floor for the rest of my life."
Thanks to my dad for this picture of a traditional public trough, that he took in late September on a hiking trail up in the mountains.:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the NJ Turnpike Authority Turkey wins TRENTON, N.J. Authorities have stopped trying to capture a wild turkey that calls Interchange 14B on the New Jersey Turnpike home. The bird has been causing havoc for toll collectors and motorists as it runs across toll booths, plays in traffic, and sits atop toll collectors' parked cars. Turnpike Authority spokesman Joe Orlando said efforts over the weekend to catch the turkey were unsuccessful, and for the time being, the bird will be left alone. Collectors will have to continue putting cones on their parked cars because the turkey likes to jump on the cars, and motorists will continue dodging the bird. The Turnpike Authority hopes the turkey will move away in spring, and that no car hts anything expensive while trying to avoid running over the turkey.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Betty Boop Re: MSN Problems I am not receiving your messages Why ?? Be Happy, Betty Boop Dear Betty Boop Because MSN censors your subscription. Try screeching a temper tantrum at the Taliban, and get them to smarten up. Once your subscription has entered the MSN server, there is nothing more that I can do about it. If you are too shy to argue with the Taliban at MSN Support, you can get a free Gmail address. Gmail is reliable and free. Have FUN! DearWebby
There was an elderly southern widow who lived in a large mansion. She was feeling generous when it came towards Easter, so she called up the local military base, and asked to speak with the lieutenant. "Please send up four nice young men to eat dinner here on Easter, but please, don't send any Jews. Please, no Jews." The lieutenant replied, "No problem ma'am, and I am sure I speak for the army when I say we all appreciate your kindness." Well, Easter rolled around, and the widow went to answer the door when it rang. She was surprised to see four of the blackest boys that anyone had ever seen, especially in the South. "But... But... There must be some mistake," she stammered. One of them replied, "No ma'am, Lieutenant Morris Goldstein doesn't make mistakes."
Daily tip from Measure Ingredients Ahead of Time When making a big meal, like Thanksgiving dinner, have everything measured out ahead of time before you start cooking. Saves lots of time! By Robin from Washington, IA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A patient, while recovering in the hospital from a heart attack, met this over-zealous evangelist. After listening politely for a over a half hour on how thankful he should be to have been spared, and how he should repent at once, he asked if all of his sins had flashed before his eyes during the heart attack. The patient responded, "Don't be ridiculous, the attack had only lasted 6 hours."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Frustrated at always being corrected by her husband, Gina decided the next time it happened, she would have a comeback. That moment finally arrived, and she was ready. "You know," she challenged, "even a broken clock is right once a day." Leroy looked at her and replied, "Twice a day." He survived, the alarm clock didn't.

Cars of yesteryear
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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