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It's Monday,  November 23, 2009

"I suffer from two phobias: 1) Phobia-Phobia, the fear that you're unable to get scared, and 2) Xylophataquieopiaphobia, the fear of not pronouncing words correctly." --- Brad Stine It is hard to say whether the doctors of laws or the doctors of divinity have made the greater advances in the lucrative business of mystery. --- Samuel Goldwyn
The story is told of a day when Queen Elizabeth had the Duke Of Edinbourgh over for a cup of tea. The conversation turned equestrian and the Queen was telling the Duke about her new prize horse. After a spell of ranting and raving over this horse the Duke said, "Well, then, let's see this fine animal!" So the Queen and the Duke went over to the stables to admire the horse. At one point the Queen walked around the horse, just as it let out an earth trembling fart, with a smell that brought tears to everybody's eyes and blistered the paint ... let's just say it was awesome.. The Queen turned a bit red and said, "Oh, I am terribly sorry about that!" "Oh, that's quite alright," the Duke replied, "I had thought it was the horse!"
Little Johnny was sitting in the courtyard turning a bottle of liquid back and forth, watching the bubbles. The Priest walked up and asked him what he was doing? Little Johnny replied, "I'm looking at the most powerful liquid in the world." The Priest said, "But Johnny, Holy Water is the most powerful liquid in the world. Did you know that if you put Holy Water on your forehead every day, bad thoughts will pass away." Little Johnny said, "Big deal! This is TURPENTINE! If you put this on a cat's butt, he'll pass a Harley!
was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller -- guaranteed to work." looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.
Thanks to Dave for this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a dopey Pennsylvanian couple Woman smuggled drugs to Pa. inmate with kiss Nov 20, 3:12 PM (ET) MERCER, Pa. (AP) - A western Pennsylvania woman has been ordered to stand trial on charges she passed a drug-filled balloon to a state prison inmate while kissing him. State police said guards at the State Correctional Institution-Mercer became suspicious when an inmate appeared to swallow something after a prolonged kiss with a visitor on Oct. 19. When the inmate wouldn't tell guards what he swallowed, they put him in a cell where they could monitor his bathroom visits and found a balloon filled with marijuana three days later. Police charged the inmate, and the woman with conspiracy to smuggle contraband and other charges. Both are 41 years old. A district judge ordered them to stand trial at a hearing on Monday.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Beverly Re: Can't unsubscribe or subscribe Dear Webby still messing with this......can't unsubscribe as i'm not in the list data base. go figure. can't you just bypass your system and sign me up by hand??? if i can get a letter from you, should get the humor letter... if it is being sent. I can ...and have ..subscribe,but never get the confirmation letter so guess i just get dumped out of your system., like must have happened a month or so ago. BEVERLY Dear Beverly You probably unsubscribed and tried to re-subscribe when MSN started censoring your subscription. Currently you are in the confirmation waiting list. Until you confirm, and thereby prove that MSN is not censoring mail from, there is no point sending your subscription just to be censored and murdered by the Taliban. You can try whitelisting, and try subscribing again when the current confirmation request times out. It keeps trying for 72 hours. In the long run, though, your best bet would be to get a respectable and reliable address. Have FUN! DearWebby
The Italians have followed the ages old tradition of naming their boats with a three-letter prefix. For example: USA uses USS which means "United States Ship." The British uses HMS which means "Her Majesty's Ship." and now...Italy is using AMB which apparently means "At's-a My Boat!"
Daily tip from Winter Tip: Keep Clean, Dry Socks Handy Keep a clean pair of dry socks under the seat of your car, in your bag or in a coat pocket in case you get your feet wet! You'll thank yourself for this thoughtfulness especially if you have to spend an entire day with cold wet feet and catch a cold due to it! By Melody_yesterday from Sedalia, MO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

"I'm ashamed of you," the mother said. "Fighting with your best friend is a terrible thing to do!" "He threw a rock at me!" the boy said. "So I threw one at him." The mother stated emphatically, "When he threw a rock at you, you should have come to me." The boy quickly replied, "What good would that have done? My aim is five times better than yours!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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A vacationer e-mailed a seaside hotel to ask its location. "It's only a stone's throw away from the beach," he was told. "But how will I recognize it?" asked the man. Back came the reply: "It's the one with all the broken windows."

A place between us
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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