What is the difference between a virus and a worm? 

Zoom the font size for best readability  
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  November 27, 2009
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Only two of my personalities are schizophrenic, but one of them is paranoid and the other one is out to get him. --- Socratex "Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves they have a better idea." --John Ciardi "Modern Art" ? Isn't that an oxymoron like "Dry Water", which, according to people in the military is like "Military Intelligence" ? "What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce." --Mark Twain
A little boy was roughhousing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Peter, I know you love Spot, but you're loving him too much. How would you feel if someone huge picked you up and squeezed you so hard you couldn't breathe?" The boy thought a moment and then said, "I guess I'd think it was my birthday and Aunt Edna was here!"
Mother: "How's your history paper coming?" Son: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research and it's been very helpful." Mother: "Really?" Son: "Yes, so far I've located 17 people who sell history papers on that topic!"
A lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. While she was waiting for her date, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, she turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way did you fire it ?"
Thanks to Frank for this pretty angel. He wants you to pass her on!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Randy Eugene Cliett in Haines City, Florida Habitual burglar caught himself, again Randy Eugent Cliett was extracted from the ventilation system at the supermarket in Haines City this morning five years after he was convicted of breaking into the same business. Screams coming from the roof of La Placita Mexico Supermarket early Tuesday meant Randy Eugene Cliett got stuck in another jam at the popular Polk County grocery. A veteran Polk County burglar, Cliett spent Monday night trapped in a rooftop air shaft at the same 10th Street market where he got busted for burglary in 2004, according to acting Haines City Pollice Chief Chief Sammy L. Taylor. "He really had no concept of time. He wasn't sure when it happened," Taylor said. Convicted on 14 of his 16 arrests for burglary, drugs and domestic violence since 1990, Cliett finished serving his fifth stretch in state prison less than two months ago. That five-year sentence was for breaking into the same supermarket at which he was discovered Tuesday, police, court and prison records show. The first officers to reach the roof found Cliett wedged feet first inside the narrow air shaft with his arms above his head. Haines City firefighter grabbed his hands and pulled him to the roof, Taylor said. Police charged him with burglary of an unoccupied structure, causing more than $1,000 of damage, possession of burglary tools and felony criminal mischief. Cliett was booked into the Polk County Jail, again..
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon Re: What is the difference between a virus and a worm? Dear Webby, Thanks for the nice Thanksgivng pumpkin & the beautiful fall treee. All of our leaves are gone now. they came early & were gone early too. I was wondering what the difference is between adware, malware & worms. Are any of them seroious threats? I have the free avast program & several times is sends up a block say something has been blocked. I think some of them are "worms". Also I have the free power point program downloaded but don't remember where I got it & a friend asked me about it. Do you know the site I can tell her about to get it? Thanks so much for you fun & tips. Dear Sharon The border between viruses and worms is a bit murky these days. Generally, viruses focus on spreading to other machines, while worms focus on gaining control of your machine, harvesting data, and using your machine for spamming. Adware just pesters you with ads, but frequently also infects your computer with a virus or worm. However, nowadays both viruses and worms try to open a back door for hackers or nasty programs or add-ons to the initial infection. All malicious stuff like that is malware. Programs like McAfee make no distinction between viruses and worms, when it comes to protecting a machine. They nuke them all. Just when you try to read the detailed description they call them by their proper names. They also clip adware and spyware, unless you clicked to accept ads in lieu of payment. In that case, they can't legally cut off a form of payment that you had agreed to. The free PowerPoint viewer that I use is the one in Open Office. It works great for harvesting individual pictures from a huge, bulky PPS or PPT file. Have FUN! DearWebby
A preacher wanted to mail a letter home when he arrived in this small town where he was to to preach a sermon. He asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy told him, he thanked him and said, "If you'll come to the Baptist church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to Heaven." "Huh! the boy huffed, "You don't even know your way to the post office."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing Serving Bowls, Platters and Utensils As I get out the dishes for the holiday dinners, I also take out the serving bowls and utensils I will need. I put a little note in each bowl (i.e. cranberries, stuffing. etc.) so when I am serving up food I don't have to fumble around finding the right size bowl at the last minute. By Linda from Vista ,CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A kid walked up to a guy wearing a 10-gallon hat, leather vest, leather chaps, and sneakers. The kid asked him, "Mr. Cowboy, why do you wear that big hat?" The cowboy replied, "Well, son, the big hat protects me from hot sun and driving rain, and at night I put it over my face when I sleep on the range, so it protects me then, too." "Why do you wear that leather vest?" "It also helps to keep the weather off me, and it has pockets where I can keep my cigarettes and matches." "Well, why do you wear leather chaps?" "They protect my legs when I'm riding my horse through rough bushes." "Well, Mr. Cowboy," the kid finally asked, "Why do you wear sneakers instead of cowboy boots ?" "That's so people won't think I'm a truck driver."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?" "Yes", whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes", "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "No". Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child. "Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman". Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked "May I speak with the policeman"? "No, he's busy", whispered the child. "Busy doing what?, asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper in the sandbox!" Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there"? Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "They're looking for me."

Crockpot cooking
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com

[ view entry ] ( 237 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 594 )

<<First <Back | 113 | 114 | 115 | 116 | 117 | 118 | 119 | 120 | 121 | 122 | Next> Last>>