UPS/FedEx/DHL Delivery Failure virus 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  December 1, 2009

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. --- Oscar Wilde A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. --- George Bernard Shaw
Bulletin Board Bloopers: The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church. --------------------------- The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10am. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. --------------------------- The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience. --------------------------- Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice. --------------------------- The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the policeman handed him a speeding ticket. "Keep it," the cop said. "When you collect four of them you get to buy yourself a bicycle."
Thanks to Dani for this picture: Sunrise from our kitchen window 11 30 09. Dani
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Frater Osiris Xnoubis in Eastbourne, England Goth robber jailed for bizarre bank job 1:20pm Saturday 28th November 2009 A goth robber held up a bank but then gave away all the money he had stolen. Frater Osiris Xnoubis was dressed from head to foot in black leather when he carried out the bizarre robbery. He handed a note to terrified cashier Laura Sulling telling her he was armed and demanded she hand over the cash in her till. Xnoubis, a Pagan worshipper, stuffed £6,570 into a bag and told her to “have a nice day” before calmly walking out of the HSBC branch in Terminus Road, Eastbourne. He walked a few yards to The Gildridge pub where he handed barmaid Gemma Clark a £20 note for a bottle of beer and told her to keep the change. After downing his drink he left and went to nearby Harrisons sandwich bar. He handed the bag of cash to astonished owner Clive Benneys, who was also his landlord, saying: “You are good people, help yourselves.” Xnoubis left the shop and promptly went to the police station in Grove Road where he confessed to the robbery. At Hove Crown court yesterday, Xnoubis, of Glynde Road, Eastbourne, was jailed for three-and-a-half years after pleading guilty to robbery. Justin Rivett, defending, said Xnoubis had a knife hidden on him during the robbery but did not show it to bank staff. He said a psychiatric report confirmed Xnoubis was suffering from depression but was not mentally ill. ------------ Can't say the same for whoever wrote that psychiatric report, or the British reporter, who does not know the difference between Pagan worshippers and Goth fans.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Roland Re: UPS/FedEx/DHL Delivery Failure virus Dear Webby The newest virus circulating is The UPS/FedEx/DHL Delivery Failure. Any truth to this one? If so hope my McAfee will catch it. Cheers, Roland Dear Roland That virus is not attached to the email. You get it, if you are silly enough to click on a link in that email. If you ARE concerned about a UPS/FedEx/DHL parcel, call their 1-800 number or check on their web site, but don't open any email from them, unless you have MailWasher and see the actual URL hidden under the link. Have FUN! DearWebby
A number of children from the neighborhood were invited to Mrs. Johnson's for dinner. She decided to do something different while serving the meal. "Where are you originally from?" she asked one child. "California," said the boy. "Well then, I will give you the left wing." She turned to another boy and asked, "Where are YOU from?" "New York," he answered. And she said, "You get the right wing." She turned to the third boy and asked, "Where are you from?" He said, "I'm from Florida and I'm not hungry!"
Daily tip from Keep Your Freezer Full Being single, I don't have my freezer full of food all the time. Keeping your freezer full saves money on your electric bill. I now keep empty spaces full by filling milk jugs with water. I also have clean fresh water on hand at all times in case of an emergency. By April from Buffalo, NY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda notices that Jill seems troubled and asks her, "Is something bugging you? You look anxious." "Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the stock market," Jill explained. "Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure you're feeling sorry for him." "Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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A man was going up to bed, when his wife told him he'd left the light on in the garden shed - she could see it from the bedroom window. But he said that he hadn't been in the shed that day. He looked himself, and there were people in the shed, stealing things. He rang the police, but they told him that no one was in his area, so no one was available to catch the thieves. He said OK, hung up, counted to 30 and rang the police again. "Hello. I just rang you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed? Well, you don't have to worry about them now, I've just shot them." And hung up. Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policeman said to this man: "I thought you said you'd shot them!" "Must have missed."

» Mona Lisa Sydney Style
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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