Printmaster versus MS WORD 

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Good Morning,  !

It's Friday,  December 4, 2009
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. --- Erma Bombeck Any child who is anxious to mow the lawn is too young to do so. --- Bob Phillips
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed an old hound dog sound asleep on the floor half way between the door and the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him and bashing their teeth out on the counter."
I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay phone. "I know it's something you want," he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in my house, I think you should respect my wishes." I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly firmness. Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Ma, you're 75 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo and a nose ring!"
Thanks to Dianne for this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Adam Bauer, 19, Lacrosse, Wisconsin Too dumb to drink University of Wisconsin-La Crosse student Adam Bauer has nearly 400 friends on Facebook. He got an offer for a new one about a month ago. “She was a good-looking girl. I usually don’t accept friends I don’t know, but I randomly accepted this one for some reason,” the 19-year-old said. He thinks that led to his invitation to come down to the La Crosse police station, where an officer laid out photos from Facebook of Bauer holding a beer — and then ticketed him for underage drinking. The police report said Bauer admitted drinking, which he denies. But he did plead no contest in municipal court Wednesday and will pay a $227 fine. He was among at least eight people who said Wednesday they had been cited for underage drinking based on photos on social networking sites.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rosalie Re: Printmaster versus MS WORD Dear Webby: I look forward to receiving you Humor Letter each morning; you start my day with a smile. Thanks much. You have always answered my questions for me - What is the difference between using Microsoft Word and Print Master? A friend asked me for help about a question in Print Master. I have never used this program as I have always used Microsoft Word both at work and now at home. Is Print Master program new as I never heard it before. Thanks again. Rosalie Dear Rosalie Printmaster is a very basic word processor with some simple graphics editing tools thrown in, all at about the level of Microsoft Works, if you remember history. Printmaster is popular and well known on the Mac side, but relatively unknown on the Windows and Linux side. It costs $40, but there are a few pirated clones available free. MS WORD is a heavy duty word processor in the same class as Open Office Writer or Corel Office WordPerfect, and the same as those other two, made for professional word processing all day, and the occasional, rare bit of graphics when the boss isn't watching. There are no similarities in usage between Printmaster and the three professional word processors. What works in your word processor, probably does not work or is done differently in Printmaster, and vice versa. Have FUN! DearWebby
An employment interviewer for a big company in New York was talking to an attractive young woman applying for a job. Looking over the application form, the interviewer noticed that the girl had not answered one important question concerning transportation to and from work. "What about your bus line?" the interviewer asked her. "I don't think I mentioned it," came the pleased reply, "but it's a 38D."
Daily tip from Discounted Banking Services For Seniors For senior citizens, check with your bank to see if they have any special services for seniors. I questioned some things on a bank statement regarding a debit payment that I did not authorize. In the process I asked about another item from when I had ordered new checks because the amount was wrong from what I had. The employee said why order checks as I had been doing when I could get new checks through the bank for free. Granted they don't have special pictures on them, but at my age, I don't need special pictures. She also said with this type of account, if I used an 'out of system' ATM, I would get the charge for that system, but I would not get a charge from my bank, too, as I previously did. Saving even the little amounts add up over time. By the way, I bank at National City. Check with your bank to see what services they have for seniors. By Linda from Bloomington,IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

The basketball coach stormed into the university President's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an example." The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned first."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday morning service. After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married. So he simply asked: "Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" Immediately, nine single ladies, four widows, tree widowers, two single men and a lady in a formal wedding gown stepped to the front.

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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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