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Good Morning,  !

It's Saturday,  December 5, 2009

When I was a kid, living in the mountains of Austria, this was the
day when St Nicolas came by, accompanied by a scary devil.

It struck me as a bit incongruous that they showed up in a beat
up old Volkswagen Beetle, but the roar of the big huge devil
quickly had me quaking in my socks, and when one smite of
St Nicolas's bishop's staff made the devil cringe and whimper,
I was duly impressed!

However, when St Nicholas started reading the long list of 
my sins, the devil cheered up and eagerly rattled his chains.
He did hit and cuff me around a bit, but kindly St Nicholas
stopped him, before things got out of hand.

After a solemn promise to improve my behavior, they made me
stand outside the front door, while they did their number on 
my sister.

She was still sniffling when dad called me inside again.
This time St Nicolas was really beaming and he mentioned
a few token good things I had done. Then he pulled a nicely
decorated pillow case from under his robe and started
dispensing glazed gingerbread, cookies, pear-bread, a chocolate
and an orange. For a mountain kid in post-war Austria, that
was eye popping STUFF!

I barely noticed when Dad escorted them out and handed them
the bottle of the medicinal Schnaps from the pantry. St Nicolas
and the devil took a good swig from the bottle and an envelope
dad gave them, and roared away in their old Volkswage Beetle.

At the time it all made sense, and was truly impressive.

As the fear of the devil waned, it was replaced with the threat
of being sent to Jagdberg, a juvenile jail / reform school, in
a scary looking old castle with skyhigh walls.

Then in University, a professor asked for a volunteer to be
Santa at Jagdberg, staring straight at me. 
Duh, yeah, OK, if nobody else ....

They couldn't find a devil, so I had to go alone. 
They gave me the suit and wig and beard, and the directions.
That was the year when Santa showed up on a motorcycle.

The staff there noticed my nervousness, so they gave me some
medicinal Schnaps first, and a few basic instructions.
After the first class they gave me more Schnaps and a few
hints with the stack of papers, one per inmate for the next class.
Then I got into the swing of things, roared like the devil of my
childhood when reading a student's misbehaviors, and smiled
like a proud grandpa, when praising them for their 
accomplishments.

Around midnight I had finished with all the inmates, and kinda 
faked it with the staff. (I didn't have any good/bad lists for the
staff and had to make them up.)

Then they gave me a sandwich and a big mug of coffee for my
parched throat and ushered me out.
Still in the Santa Suit I hopped on my bike and roared homewards,
well, to my girlfriend's place anyway, and just as the sky turned
light in the East, I did make it home. I briefly paused at the entrance,
where I had seen my first Santa. Life had come full circle.
Have FUN!
DearWebby


"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." --- Sydney J. Harris
One day, Jean-Claude decided to take a trip from Montreal (where he lived) to that great city of Boston.. He went to the airport to buy a ticket and found out the cost was $200 one-way. Well Jean-Claude only had $110 on him. But he saw a sign saying half-fare for persons under 18. Well, now Jean-Claude had just turned 18 three months ago so he lied..a bit. And got a ticket for $100. Well during the flight, he talking with the passenger seated next to him. And, in the course of their little chat, he boisterously mentioned the 18th birthday party his friends had for him. Since Jean-Claude talked fairly loudly, a stewardess happened to over-hear that part of the conversation and remembered from the passenger list that Jean-Claude had only paid half-fare. A few minutes later, the stewardess asked Jean-Claude if he had $50 with him. Jean-Claude, slightly embarrassed, replied, "I only have $10, enough for a bus and a coffee after we arrive in Boston.. Why you ask?" Stewardess:"I wanted to know if you wanted to buy this used parachute." Jean-Claude, "What for?" Stewardess, "You only paid half-fare and you're over 18. We are half-way on our flight and you have to leave now."
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again..?" ------- Yeah, I remember that train. It had little porches at each end of the wagons and signs posted: "Picking flowers while the train is in motion is not permitted." Seems the locomotive engineer got annoyed when the flower pickers passed the train.
Thanks to Martin for sending this picture by his nephew Greg Twin Lakes Colorado
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Marilyn Cole, 35, and Rashieka Stewart, 23, of Muskegon, Michigan Thief arrested for headbutting, urinating on Wal-Mart security guard MUSKEGON COUNTY — Marilyn Cole, of Muskegon, faces trial on charges of stealing goods from a local Wal-Mart store, then head-butting and urinating on a security guard. Cole, 35, waived her probable-cause hearing on charges of unlawful imprisonment, unarmed robbery and interfering with a crime report. The hearing had been scheduled for Tuesday. Her accomplice, Rashieka Stewart, 23, of Muskegon earlier waived her probable-cause hearing and faces trial on one count of unarmed robbery. According to Roosevelt Park Police Chief Bill Regan, the women tried to steal merchandise, including make-up and curtains, from the Henry Street Wal-Mart on Halloween night. Regan said the women broke away from a security guard who tried to detain them at the front door. The security guard ran after them and tried to block Cole from getting into the passenger’s seat of the car in which she and Stewart were preparing to flee. Regan said Cole “head-butted” the security guard, who fell backwards into the vehicle. The chief said Cole then sat on the man. He grabbed his phone and called 911, but Cole allegedly fought for the phone and then urinated on him. Stewart drove away with the security guard still in the vehicle and Cole holding him down, according to the chief. The incident ended when the women stopped in the parking lot of Acme Bedding Co., 660 W. Broadway, where authorities, still on the phone with the security guard, arrested Stewart and Cole. Marylin Cole
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Erin Re: Best Word Processor Dear Webby: What IS the best word processor out there? Erin Thanks again. Rosalie Dear Erin If somebody has been using WordPerfect for twenty years, then Corel Office Word Perfect is the best word processor for them. If somebody has been using Microsoft WORD for fifteen years, then that program is the best for them. If you have hundreds or thousands of employees, or half a dozen, for whom you have to buy a word processor, then Open Office Writer is the best for you, because it is free and because it uses the Worldwide Open Standard. The actual performance differences are negligible and change with every update. WordPerfect and WORD have been battling it out with nitpicking little differences that are generally ignored except by computer magazine testers, who have never bought a program in their life. Currently Open Office is slightly ahead in usability and useful features, but that can change any moment. For example, just today there was an update for Corel Office. I haven't noticed any changes in the stuff I actually use, but I am sure bored magazine testers will find what is new and will write plenty about it in 3-4 months. The actual usage differences between the Big Three are small, as long as you are not trying to save a document as a web page. Open Office does that way best and produces nice and clean HTML, that can be easily updated. If you try that with MS WORD, you wind up with an awful mess and get told to scribble it on a used napkin next time, or to pick up the MS WORD doc with Open Office Writer and save it as a web page from there. Have FUN! DearWebby
More than anything, a young man from the city wanted to be a cowboy. Eventually he found a rancher who took pity on him and gave the lad a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said the man, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?" (City Slickers Beware! Cows love chasing and scaring you!)
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Put Ads at the Bottom of the Garbage Can Ever wonder what to do with all the paper advertisements and leftover grocery ads that you always end up throwing away? Here's something my mother has passed along to me. Fold them up and fit them into the bottom of your garbage cans throughout the house. You may need to fiddle around with it a little bit to make sure it's sitting on the bottom snugly, edges may stick up but that's OK. The paper ads on the bottom will soak up any liquids that may drip through your bags. This saves on time and hassle in cleaning your garbage can. Especially handy for the kitchen garbage as raw meat juices or liquids inevitably seep through. By Pookster Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The other night, Joe and his wife were going out for dinner. She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush, lipstick, and a dozen other mysterious concoctions, and then asked: "Does this look natural?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
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It was little Michael's first visit to the country, and feeding the chickens fascinated him. Early one morning he caught his first glimpse of a peacock strutting in the yard. Rushing indoors excitedly, Michael sought his grandmother. "Oh, Granny," he exclaimed, "one of the chickens is in bloom!"

» DNA
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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