Are MSN's problems permanent? 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  December 8, 2009

I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it. --- Terry Pratchett
A big shot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I cannot use an oral thermometer." This started anotherround of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his rear end. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!" She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answered, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" After a pause, the doctor confessed, "Well, yes, but never with a carnation."
A mother took her three year old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice "Happy Birthday to you..."
Thanks to Dianne for this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to George Floyd, 17,of Chicago Teen Charged With Carjacking Off-Duty Cop A teen ordered held on $250,000 bond Monday for allegedly carjacking and punching an off-duty Chicago Police officer Sunday night in the South Chicago neighborhood on the Southeast Side. He reportedly told police he did it because he was cold. George Floyd, 17, of the 8200 block of South Marquette Avenue, is charged with vehicular hijacking, aggravated battery to a peace officer and aggravated fleeing, according to police. All the charges are felonies. Floyd was also ticketed for driving without a license and failure to stop at two stop signs, according to police. He appeared in bond court Monday and was ordered held on $250,000 bond, according to Cook County State's Attorney's office spokesman Andy Conklin. Floyd will appear for a preliminary hearing Dec. 14 in Far South Felony Court (Br. 38). At 9:20 p.m. Sunday, the off-duty officer was behind the wheel of a silver 2002 Chevrolet van when Floyd allegedly demanded her keys at 1505 E. 86th St., according to police. There were no passengers in the van. During the carjacking, Floyd allegedly struck the officer in the face and body with his fist, according to police. He allegedly took off in the van, leading police on a chase that ended when he crashed into a parked car at 8808 S. Houston Ave., where he was arrested at 9:35 p.m., according to police. "He was going in and out of traffic, losing officers and went eastbound to Houston and then northbound -- avoiding a police car that was cutting him off,'' one officer said of the chase. Floyd allegedly told police, "I was walking home and I was very cold. I didn't want to walk home,'' the officer said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: John Re: Are MSN's problems permanent? Dear Webby: I use to receive your newsletter until about 4 months ago. Your site says I am still a subscriber but get nothing. ???? Thank You, John Dear John I can't do more than sending it out. Once your subscripton has entered the MSN servers, there is nothing more that I can do about it. Arguing with the Taliban at MSN Support is a waste of time. Why don't you try it with your Verizon address? The Dear Webby Humor newsletter is sent from a server that has 1) Listed Sender ID, 2) Permanent IP address, 3) Proper SPF record, 4) Matching forward and reverse DNS, 5) Approved privacy policy, 6) full contact information, 7) strictly Double Opt-In, 8) not on any blacklist, 9) uses an IP address that has never been used for spamming, 10) and is family safe. The Dear Webby Humor Letter is "The Good Example" for all other newsletters. I got all 10 points. There is nothing more, that I can do, to get through. So try your Verizon address! If they are not competent enough to deliver a newsletter that fulfills all 10 criteria, imagine how much other stuff they lose! Have FUN! DearWebby
During a rather heated argument a teenager said, "I didn't ask to be born." His father: replied, "Good thing you didn't 'Cause the answer would have been 'NO!!!'."
Daily tip from Halve a Turkey for Later Have the butcher cut your turkey in half (lengthwise) and when you get it home wrap each half in freezer paper and you will have the beginnings of two meals in case the weather gets bad and you can't get out to shop. Mix up your favorite stuffing, pop it in the oven and enjoy two feasts. Happy eating! By Sewing Mamma from Pittsburgh PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

After listening restlessly to a long and tedious sermon, a 6 year old boy asked his father what the preacher did the rest of the week. "Oh, he's a very busy man," the father replied. "He takes care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the poor...and then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in public isn't an easy job, you know." The boy thought about that, then said, "Well, listening ain't that easy, either."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Barry who is noted for his tact was awakened one morning at four o'clock by his ringing telephone. "Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an irate voice. Barry thanked the caller and politely asked his name, while he scribbled down his number from the caller ID display before hanging up. The next morning at four o'clock, Barry called back his neighbor. "Sir," he said, "I don't have a dog."

The Skinny on Coffee
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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