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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  December 12, 2009

"An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today." ---Evan Esar "Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor." --- Edgar R. Fiedler
The boss at the pub went up to the bartender and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the waitress?!" "Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender. The boss replied, "Good, then YOU fire her....!"
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed. "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his hand. "We do have to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?" "No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely. "Can you pay in cash?" "I'm afraid I can't, Sister." "Do you have any close relatives, then?" "Just my sister in New Mexico," replied, "but she's a spinster nun." "Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied. "They are married to God." "Okay," the man said with a smile, "then send the bill to my brother-in-law."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Laura Miranda Landry, 19, of Summerside P.E.I. Illegal bra padding It was not a typical drug bust for RCMP patrolling P.E.I.'s Confederation Bridge. Officers arrested 19-year-old Laura Miranda Landry for possession of marijuana after they found 49.5 grams of pot under the front seat of her car and in her bra. Landry of Charlottetown, pleaded guilty to the drug charge Wednesday in provincial court in Summerside, the Summerside Journal Pioneer reported. 0Landry was in a car crossing Confederation Bridge on Sept. 28 when the car was stopped by police. An officer smelled marijuana and asked whether there was any in the car. Landry and two other women in the vehicle admitted there was some under the front passenger seat, and Landry said it was hers, the court heard. Landry was arrested. On the way to the police station, the officer could still smell marijuana. She asked about the source of the smell, and Landry pulled another bag of drugs from her bra. Landry was ordered to pay $500, plus a $75 victim surcharge.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dianne Re: Unsubscribe / Resubscribe Dear Webby, I get your newsletters fine on my other account, but not on my Yahoo address. Now I have been told to unsubscribe and re-subscribe, and that would fix the problem. Dianne Dear Dianne That only applies to the yahoos, who are subscribed to Yahoo Groups and Yahoo Lists. With independent newsletters, that are not handicapped by the Chinese Firedrill Team at Yahoo, that would be as illogical as taking your son's address off your postal addresses list, and then quickly adding it again the day before you send any postal mail to him. Unless you are sending from Yahoo, the problem is not on the sending side, but on the receivingä side. Have FUN! DearWebby
A Navy Admiral ('which Navy' will go unspecified) was being court-martialed for an incident where he was found to be chased by a young lady through the hallways of the hotel in which they were both staying. Neither of them were wearing anything. The charge was that of "being out of uniform." The Admiral's lawyer argued that the officer was not out of uniform, as the regulations read: "A Naval officer must be at all times appropriately attired for the activity in which he is engaged." The charges were dismissed.
Daily tip from Lint Catcher Wash the lint catcher in your dryer in hot water with an old tooth brush every 4 to 6 months. You will be surprised how much of a build up you get from it. Also, it can lower your power bill and extend the life of your dryer. It also will help prevent fires. By Sandy from Nova Scotia, Canada Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A man moved into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top part. Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice. A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. You sure got the traditional Hinkley nose. But you should do something about that punk hairstyle."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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Ed worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make store-wide announcements, e.g., "I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint counter." One night a timid female voice came over the intercom system with the following message: "I have a customer by the balls in toys and need assistance."

» Holiday baking
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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