Attachments versus links 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  December 13, 2009

What happened? The votes dropped below 100 ! Too busy with Christmas shopping? " The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do." --- B. F. Skinner "I make money using my brains and lose money listening to my heart. But in the long run my books balance pretty well." --- Kate Seredy
The first time I heard the following joke, it was told to me about 20 years ago by Danny, a part time carpet layer. Knowing what he smoked some of the time, I actually believed him. According to his story, Danny had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out into the hallway for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. He rummaged in his toolbox and found a butt. While he smoked that he surveyed the just finished room and spotted a bump in the carpet in the middle of the room. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his big rubber hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the stairway. Now, if only I could find my gerbil."
A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town grouch. So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells. "I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor. That will be $100. So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith: "What you need is jar number 43..." Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office.
Thanks to Sandie for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Mindy Jones, 28 of Shawnee, Oklahoma Hit and run, DUI, plus stealing an ambulance Oklahoma City - The Oklahoma Highway Patrol says a woman looking for her ex-boyfriend stole an ambulance and led troopers on a 50-mile chase from Shawnee to Del City. Troopers say 28-year-old Mindy Jones was at the hospital for a blood test after she was arrested for driving under the influence and hit-and-run. Officers say she ran from the hospital and drove away in the ambulance about 2:30 a.m. Friday. She was spotted on Interstate 40 and troopers followed her to a home in Del City where she stopped in the yard and was arrested again. While in handcuffs Jones told television station KOCO she "had the ambulance and had a pretty good time driving" it. Jones was taken to the Oklahoma County jail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Malcolm Re: Links versus attachments Dear Webby, What is the reason everybody, including the phone company, sends links to their invoices and forms, instead of attaching them to emails? It's no big deal to click on the links, but I am curious why these days the only ones sending attachments, (-except friends sending "motivational" pictures-), are the virus spreaders. Malcolm Dear Malcolm Can you blame your phone company for not wanting their bills and announcements to get trashed, unseen, because most security programs today consider attachments to bulk mail as highly suspicious? Sending bills and announcements as an attachment has gone out of fashion late in the last century. As you probably know, our e-bills, for example, have been sent out as links to a secure page since 1994. Aside from the obvious security issues, having invoices or fancy announcements on a web page, guarantees that they print out predictably exactly as designed, no matter what kind of equipment the recipient has. A short mail with a link is also a lot easier on people with slow connections or nearly full mail boxes. Quite often a mail with an attachment will bounce, because the recipient mailbox is too full for that, but a short email with a link will easily fit in. If you are at all concerned about having a high percentage of your recipients actually getting your newsletters or invoices, use links and not attachments. Have FUN! DearWebby
Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one paramedic asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?" The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window. He slowly turned back to the paramedic and said, "Oh, I'd say about 50, maybe 55."
Daily tip from Reuse Ice Cream Bucket as Salt Spreader Here's an idea for a cheap salt bucket. If, like me, you occasionally purchase one of those large tubs of ice cream, the one gallon plus one quart size with a handle and a lid, save at least one tub to fill with salt for winter ice. It's the perfect size to carry out to the front or back walk. Since it has a lid, you can store it in the house without fear of kids or pets getting into or spilling it. By Marie from West Dundee, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. However, the next morning the kangaroo was out again, just roaming around the zoo. The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to twenty feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again roaming around the zoo. This kept on, night after night, until the fence was sixty feet high. Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo replied, "Probably a hundred feet, unless somebody starts locking the gate at night!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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Two men were talking one day. "My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the garden market," said the first man. "So were you able to find some?" the second man asked. "Well when I got to the market, I asked the produce clerk, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?' "The produce clerk told me 'No, you'll have to do that yourself.' "

Shipping Goodies to The Military
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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