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It's Wednesday,  December 16, 2009


The nicest thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. --- Ken Olsen Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. --- Mark Twain
Teacher: If your father earned $100.00 and gave half to your mother, what would she have? Little Johnny: A heart attack!
News Item: An Oregon State University animal rights activist denounces vegetarianism because mice, moles and rabbits are often killed in the preparation of farmland to grow vegetables. You might want to stop eating until the dogooders sort this out.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to James and Wayne Snell, in Cardiff, England Bank robbery with personalized license plate A GANG of robbers have been jailed after one used his car with a personalised plate to set up a job. Read more: http://snipurl.com/tpn48 [www_thesun_co_uk] Blundering James Snell was spotted in his BMW with the registration "J4MES" as he nicked a heavy drain cover. The cover was used to smash a bank window in a 104,000 raid - and Snell was tracked down after a witness remembered seeing the number plate and told cops. Snell, 27, his brother Wayne, 34, and two other crooks have now been jailed for a total of 38 years over the robbery in Cardiff. The city's Crown Court heard the gang struck as security guards were refilling a Halifax branch cash machine around midnight. Two raiders used metal drain covers to shatter the window while a third threatened the guards with a bat and the fourth waited in a stolen getaway car. A council highways official later identified one of the covers. The witness had seen it being pinched by a man in a sporty blue BMW with a personal plate. The car was found at a house where the Snell brothers were caught red-handed with 30,000. Prosecutor Daniel Williams said: "It was the distinctiveness of the car which contributed to the robbers' undoing." The Snells and Adam Abbot, 38, admitted robbery. Carl Campion, 44, had denied the charge but was found guilty at a separate trial.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Donna Re: Font sizes too big Dear Webby, I use McAfee Security and when I went to look at it yesterday, the font size is much larger and I can't navigate to all the different things I want to look at. This happened to me several years ago and I can vaguely remember that I had to change the setting on the computer, but have searched and searched and cannot find it. This has also affected my Weatherbug... Can the guru help me? Donna Dear Donna Make sure that your resolution is set to HiColor and the highest comfortable resolution. Sometimes games change that to 256 colors and a rather coarse resolution. That would cause the McAfee and WeatherBug panels to display huge and weird. Try right-clicking on the desktop, Properties, Settings Set the resolution to the highest that you are comopfrtable with. I have used 1600 x 1200 for about a dozen years, and anything coarser than that, looks awful to me. Then click on Advanced an in there play with the DPI setting. Theoretically that should change the font sizes in the McAfee panel. That should do the trick. Have FUN! DearWebby
An American tourist in Tel Aviv was about to enter the impressive Mann Auditorium to take in a concert by the Israel Philharmonic. He was admiring the unique architecture, the sweeping lines of the entrance, and the modern decor throughout the building. Finally, he turned to his escort and asked if the building was named for Thomas Mann, the world-famous author. "No," his friend said, "it's named for Fredric Mann, from Philadelphia." "Really? I never heard of him. What did he write?" "A check."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Soda Bottles for Spaghetti Keep your large 2-liter bottles for storing spaghetti. After you wash the bottles, stuff paper towels inside to help draw out the water. Making sure the bottle is dry, put in your spaghetti. This takes time, but the result is worth it to me, because it will dispense a serving of spaghetti with just a shake of the wrist. It's easier for me than having to deal with spaghetti from a bag or plastic container. It seems to scatter all over the place. By Tim from Science Hill, KY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Recently on a West Coast commuter flight a flight attendant announced, "As per federal regulations every 500th landing has to be a manual landing, not on auto-pilot. Our new co-pilot will be performing his first manual landing for us today, so be sure to give him a big round of applause when we come to a stop." Well, the plane made an extremely bumpy landing, bouncing hard a few times times before smoothing out. Still, the passengers applauded. Then the attendant's voice came over the intercom, "Thanks for flying with us. And don't forget to let our co-pilot know which of his three landings you liked best."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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Two cowboys were scouting near their fort and worrying that the Indians might be overrunning them. As they listened to the distant pounding war drums, one cowboy muttered to the other: "I don't like the sound of them drums." Just then, an apologetic voice came from behind a bush, "Our regular drummer slept in."

Alfredo's Artwork
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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