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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  December 20, 2009

An executive is a person who always decides; sometimes he decides correctly, but he always decides. --- John H. Patterson First things first, but not necessarily in that order. --- Doctor Who "Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats." --- Howard Aiken
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Sandy was sitting in the doctor's office when the doctor came in and said, "Sandy, this isn't a urine sample you brought in. It's apple juice." "Oh my god" sandra said, "I've got to get to a phone." "Why?" asked the doctor. "I may have packed the other bottle in Michael's lunch box."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jerzy Jancewicz, 48 Bytom in Poland Burglar found hiding in fridge Police officers in Poland cracked a cold case when they finally found a burglar - hiding in a fridge. The 48-year old crook, from Bytom in Poland, had broken into an office block but was spotted by a security guard and fled before police arrived. Police then received a tip off he was hiding out in his mistress's apartment but a search showed no trace of him. But just as officers were preparing to leave they heard sneezing - coming from inside the fridge. When they opened the door of the fridge, they found Jerzy Jancewicz curled up and shivering. "I don't know how long he'd been in there but he'd caught a cold as a result," said police spokesman Adam Jakubiak. "Officers gave him a blanket and a pack of tissues before taking him away."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bev Re: Lost Bookmarks Dear Webby, I just ran crap cleaner and now all my "pop downs", the sites I go to everyday, are gone. Is there anyway to get them back? Thank you, Bev Dea Bev That sounds like you told it to clean your bookmarks and cookies, and it obediently did as told. Usually, unless you are concerned about hubby finding out about your nasty habits, it is best to take the checkmarks off the bookmarks, cookies and history. That feature in CrapCleaner is intended to safely obliterate your tracks, and I don't think there is a way to undo that. Just take those checkmarks off, so that you won't accidentally do that again. Have FUN! DearWebby
While on board a Navy carrier, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd." The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We awe hunting submawenes."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shop Other Thrift Stores Before Goodwill I was just reading the comments on the "Saving Money On Jeans" post, and I agree with the poster who said that Goodwill is getting "expensive"! There was a bigger, nicer Goodwill building built here in my city a few years ago, but on recent trips there, I've noticed that the prices are rather high (at least for a thrift store, in my opinion). My best friend used to work for them, and said that they often get brand new merchandise donated to them from Target and other stores. However, there are at least two other different thrift stores here in my city, and I know that at least one of them also gets donations from Target, and they have much lower prices. Once I bought a Target item from Goodwill, only to find it about $1.25 cheaper at Salvation Army! So my tip is to check out all the thrift stores in your area and compare prices. You might find some of the same items there, and get them cheaper than you would at Goodwill. I do still shop at Goodwill, but after I've looked at the other thrift stores first! By Lisa from Kenosha, WI Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "I doubt that!" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of prunes?" The clerk replies, "Sure, Canned or Dried?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great check-up. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?" "Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a big decision! Have you talked it over with your family?" "Yeah, we took a vote... and they're in favor of it, 15 to 2."

Strange Coconuts
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com

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