Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  December 27, 2009


Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.
--- Michel de Montaigne

"Either you run the day or the day runs you."
--- Jim Rohn:


Imelda reported for her University PHD final examination
which consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her
seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper
for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her
purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and
marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails.

Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the
class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she
is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and
sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is
going on.
"I finished the exam in half and hour. But, she says, I am
rechecking my answers, and half of them are wrong !"


An airport ticketing agent was working at the counter
and began asking a passenger the required security questions.
"Have you received any objects from an unknown person to carry
aboard the airplane today?"
"No," said the woman.
"Did you pack your own suitcase?" she inquired,
pointing to the traveler's rolling carry-on bag.
"Yes," she answered.
"Has your bag been under your control since you've been
in the airport?"

"Well, no, not exactly," the passenger said with a sigh.
"The silly thing keeps either trying to go every which way,
or else it's trying to trip me. I feel like I am under IT's control."


In a cafeteria : "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria."

hand written underneath:
"Socks can eat any place they want."






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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Von Nicholas Stevens, 39 of Townsend, Montana

Drunk fakes report of being shot
An intoxicated Townsend man is being charged for numerous 
offenses, including lying to officials about being shot.

Officials responded to a 911 call about an apparent shooting 
Tuesday night. A female caller said Von Nicholas Stevens, 39, 
was headed to St. Peter’s Hospital with a gunshot wound, 
Broadwater County Sgt. Nick Korthals said.

Korthals said he informed members of the Helena Police 
Department, Lewis and Clark County Sheriff’s Department, 
and hospital personnel who were on hand waiting at the 
emergency room.

Stevens never arrived at the hospital.

Korthals contacted Stevens by phone. He said he’d run out of 
gas near Lakeside and was shot and in pain. Stevens told the 
alleged victim to stay where he was and someone would be 
out to get him.

Medical personnel arrived on the scene and found a small 
scratch on Stevens’ ear and some dried blood, but no sign 
of a gunshot wound.

Korthals said he had several deputies interview people who 
had been with Stevens at some point throughout the night, 
but no one mentioned shots being fired. Stevens accused a 
man of shooting him. That man can be seen on video 
surveillance cameras at a local Helena sports bar during the 
time of the alleged shooting, Korthals said.

“Mr. Stevens continued to change his story,” Korthals said.

Stevens was charged with driving with a suspended license 
and is scheduled to appear in court on Monday. Korthals said 
more charges are pending and he anticipates citing Stevens 
for obstructing justice and false reporting, and DUI, etc, 
but the investigation is ongoing.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Patti
Re: Dumped and lost icon

Dear Webby,
There was a new icon on my desktop toolbar that was really bugging 
me so I went to control panel and unloaded it. OOPS, now I can't play 
my music. Apparently realtek high definition something or other is what 
drives the CD's.  Dummy that I am, I have no idea how to get it back. 
Can you help - Please. Thanking you advance,
Patti

Dear Patti
Search for that program.
If you didn't change the defaults in your Windoze to something smarter, 
it probably dumped it into the dumbest place possible: C:\Program Files
If you have a smart set-up, it would be in E:\TOOLS or similar place.

Find the program, look for an exe file,but not the setup.exe, and try 
starting the program with it. Once you have found the right file, 
make a shortcut to it, and drag it onto the desktop.

if you can't find that file, then you completely UN-installed it, and
have to download it again. If you bought that program, then you
should still have a payment receipt with download instructions
and possibly a registration key.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Before Linda got married, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting
her boyfriend know it, too.
"A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry," she told him.
"Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you intending
to marry?"


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Getting The Most Of Your Post-Christmas Shopping
The Christmas frenzy frenzy is over and retailers are still 
trying to move merchandise from their shelves. Now is the time 
to shop if you can think ahead some. I gather up my discount 
bucks I got from buying before Christmas. While I was out 
before Christmas, I gave out my email address and got 
more online coupons. Any special day passes I may have 
gotten, I get that too. Just to make it a little bit better, I 
can shop on senior citizen day and take my mother or 
sister. A recent trip to a popular department store had 
me buying Christmas and Thanksgiving items at 95% off. 
Seasonal items will be the heaviest discounted. Avoid 
food items because they will not save well. Wrap scented 
candles in cellophane and store in a cool place to extend 
their scent. 
By Morganna from Anderson, IN

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


The 75-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's
office. "You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic cars than
anyone I know. Must be many hundreds!"
"And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got
from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable positions," the medic said.
"Naw," the old fellow replied. "I want to borrow your Lamborghini!"


Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye  went to study at an English
university and was living in the hall of residence with all the
other students there. After he had been there a month, his
mother came to visit him.
"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she
asked.
"Mother," he replied, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The
one on that side keeps banging his head on the wall and won't
stop. The one on the other side screams and screams all
night."
"Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful
noisy English neighbors?"
"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here
quietly, playing my bagpipes."






 » Volcano Island


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Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

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