How to move the task bar 

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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  December 28, 2009

I have given two cousins to war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother. --- Artemus Ward Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. --- Wilson Mizner Charm is the quality in others that makes us more satisfied with ourselves. --- Henri-Frédéric Amiel
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously, the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about half-way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Usually right after it breaks."
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. "I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one." The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby."
Children's Unions went on strike today in Oklahoma, refusing to play with their new toys, demanding compensation for snow days occurring during the Christmas school break. Spokesman Butch Evans, an Oklahoma City 7th grader, said, "This, like, bites, you know. Like, we're already out of school, like, and now, you know, this storm could have, like, waited until we, you know, got back to school, so, like, we could get a snow day. This is like, you know, totally bogus." In a related item, the union also demanded that "time off" should also be granted to any union member who caught a cold during scheduled school breaks. Parents groups were expected to tell the kids to quit their whining, go fetch a beer from the fridge, and then clean their rooms, or "they'll be given real reasons to whine about!"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to an armed robber in Colchester, Essex, England Robber sticks around for a meal A DOZY robber was nicked while scoffing a chicken dinner at a restaurant he held up at gunpoint 20 minutes earlier. The 38-year-old is accused of stealing several hundred pounds after waving an airgun at terrified staff. But he then sniffed the tasty aromas at the Southern Fried Chicken branch and demanded: "Give me one of those Hunga Busta Meals too." He sat down to eat the meal and was still tucking in when armed cops alerted by staff burst into the diner in Colchester, Essex. An Essex police source said: "We've come across some stupid criminals in our time but this beats all. Normal practice is to grab the cash and run. But this man was obviously controlled by his belly rather than his brain. "After running in with a hoodie and scarf hiding his face, he took them both off to stuff his face with chicken. "The staff he'd just waved a gun at were gobsmacked. "He sat there eating for 20 minutes so they had tons of time to dial 999. Staff thought it was a bizarre TV stunt." The man, a double glazing salesman who cannot be named, is charged with possessing a weapon in a public place, theft and using threatening behaviour in a public place. He has been bailed to appear at Chelmsford Crown Court on January 4.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Annette Re: Moving the task bar Dear Webby, I hope you had a good Christmas and stayed warm. It was cold here in Tx. where I live , I dont like the cold weather, warmer the better. I appreciate all the help you have given me in the past! well I have a problem I cant fix today, will you help me? my bottom task bar is at the top again, I have tried clicking and dragging it to the bottom, doesnt work, can you tell me another way to get things back in place? any info. will be appreciated. thanks and I hope you have a very Happy New Year, Annette. Dear Annette No Gullible Warming in Texas either? Re the task bar: Close all programs or minimize them. If you still have the "Show Desktop" icon, you can use that to minimize everything with one click. If you lost it, here is how to restore it: Click Start, click Run, type notepad in the Open box, and then click OK. Carefully copy and then paste the following five lines into the Notepad window: [Shell] Command=2 IconFile=explorer.exe,3 [Taskbar] Command=ToggleDesktop On the File menu, click Save As, and then save the file to your desktop as "Show desktop.scf". The Show desktop icon is created on your desktop. Click and then drag the Show desktop icon to your Quick Launch toolbar near the START button. OK, now you got some elbow room. Right-click on an empty grey spot on the task bar, and take the checkmark off "Lock task bar". Next, click and hold that same empty grey spot, and drag the task bar to wherever you want it. It doesn't drag smoothly, but appears to stay glued until your cursor has reached another monitor edge. Then it snaps to that edge. Once you got it where you want it, lock the task bar again. Have FUN! DearWebby
A young bride and groom to be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the platinum and diamond ring she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me," she asked the rather elderly salesman, "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, "One of the best ways to protect a fancy wedding ring like that is to never take it off and to soak it in dishwater for three minutes three times a day."
Daily tip from Save Spaghetti Cooking Water to Wash Greasy Dishes Save your spaghetti water and wash your greasy dishes with it. The flour in the water somehow causes oil and grease to get trapped, and you don't have to scrub as much. By Tim from Science Hill, KY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle. "Can you imagine," he demanded, "people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy and sticky mess they extract from smashed nuts of some kind?" When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, "What I've been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and toast with peanut butter."
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A lady called Delta and asked for a reservation from Los Angeles to New York. The clerk knew that the plane was very full with baggage and passengers. "How much do you weigh, Ma'am?" asked the clerk. "With or without clothes?" the passenger asked. "Well," said the clerk, "how do you intend to travel?"

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