Internet caused shaking 



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It's Saturday, January 2, 2010

Recap of last year:
Most ridiculous lawsuits of 2009


My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. --- Ronnie Shakes Wealth is not a matter of intelligence; it's a matter of inspiration. --- Jim Rohn
A teenaged boy with spiked hair, nose ring, and baggy clothes says to his friend,"I don't really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from making me go visit my weird aunt Helen with them."
While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, the man left his hat on the bench, but didn't miss it until they were back on the freeway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. The woman fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant, that they would be late getting to their destination, etc. She called her husband every bad name she could think of. When they finally arrived at the restaurant, as the man got out of the car to retrieve his hat, the woman yelled to him, "While you're in there, you might as well get my purse, too."
David and an Italian and an Irishman, all first time fathers, are pacing nervously in a maternity ward waiting room when a nurse rushes out of the delivery room holding up a newborn black baby. "Yours?" she asked the Italian man, who immediately curses her out in Italian and says "No! notta my kid!" "Yours?" The nurse asks the Irishman, who answers "It blodie will betta not be!" "OK, then it must be yours", she informs David, who sheepishly looks at the ground and mumbles "It must be, my wife burns everything!

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a truck thief in Tacoma, Washington Called 911 because stolen truck ran out of gas RENTON, Wash. A Tacoma man called 911 to report the truck he had just stolen had run out of gas. But not only was he arrested, he learned not all vehicles run on the same type of fuel. The Washington State Patrol says at about 12:30 p.m. Monday, a City Transfer employee headed south on State Route 167 spotted the silver 1985 Chevy truck that was stolen from their yard earlier that day. Someone was seen in the truck as it sat, disabled, on the shoulder in Renton. Minutes later, and before troopers arrived, the suspect called 911 to report the vehicle had run out of gas. When troopers got there, they say the suspect tried to disguise himself as a City Transfer worker by wearing a fluorescent green reflector vest he found in the truck. A City transfer worker identified the suspect as the person who stole the truck. The suspect was arrested and booked into the King County Jail. As it turns out, the truck did not run out of gas. The suspect apparently didn't realize that the truck took diesel. He topped it off with gasoline and it became disabled.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Shirley Re: Internet caused shaking Dear Webby Thank you for all the computer information. Love your letter. My question is why does a computer like shake when on the internet? I read where a computer should be reformated every three years is this so? Thanking you in advance. Shirley Dear Shirley So far I have not heard about Internet shaking yet. Usually the reasons for formatting and re-installing everything is to get rid of all the utilities and fake speeder-upper programs that you had fallen for, and also all other accumulated junk, that would be too tedious to weed out. Another reason for formatting is when somebody doesn't have a good defragmenter like DisKeeper, and the computer is slowing down, because most files are in fragments here and there. Formatting and re-installing everything brings the computer up to exactly the same speed as it had the day you bought it. Have FUN! DearWebby
During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, "Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied, "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Browse eBay for Unwanted Gift Certificates After Christmas is a great time to browse ebay for gift certificates. You can get them for considerably less most of the time. People get these gift cards and don't want them, and would rather have the cash. Therefore you get more bang for your buck, by bidding for them on online auctions, such as eBay. Source: Something I discovered while searching eBay. By Karen from Union, SC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

I was just visiting some friends who have a farm. I was watching this one rooster chasing after this hen, when the friend's wife came out to feed them. The rooster stopped chasing the hen at once and ran over to begin eating. I just stood there thinking to myself, "I hope I never get THAT hungry."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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Poor Ole was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept telling him the chickens had the right to go where they wanted. But the birds were ruining Ole's prize-winning flowerbeds. Two weeks later, a friend visited Ole and noticed his flowerbeds were doing great. The flowers were even beginning to bloom! The friend asked, "How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?" Ole replied, "Easy! One night I hid a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. He put up a fence before noon."

Snowshoe hares
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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