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It's Wednesday, January 6, 2010

If you would be known, and not know, vegetate in a village; If you would know, and not be known, live in a city. --- Charles Caleb Colton There MIGHT be Gullible Warming. On this planet it seems to have moved indoors. --- DearWebby
A Border Patrol Agent catches a guy that just might be an illegal alien. However he begs and pleads and asks for a chance to stay. The BPA decides to give him a chance and says: "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use three English words in a sentence". Of course, the man agrees to this. The BPA tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in one sentence." The guy thinks really hard for about two minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok...... The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"
A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?" One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said "Professor you're 44.." The Professor said "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?" The student said. "You see professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he's half nuts."
A medieval astrologer prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the astrologer, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman's death. He summoned the astrologer and commanded him: "Tell me when you will die!" The astrologer realized that the king was planning to kill him immediately, no matter what answer he gave. "I do not know when I will die," he answered finally. "I only know that whenever I die, the king will die a horrible death three days later...."
Mom! Does "can opener" have a meow in it?
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jeremiah Gilliam, 22, of New York Xbox IP leads police to suspect NEW YORK (UPI) -- Police said a suspected serial burglar was arrested in New York after he used an Xbox taken during one of his alleged crimes to play games online. Pelham, N.Y., police said they traced the Internet protocol address of the stolen Xbox to the New York home of Jeremiah Gilliam, 22, who had already been under police investigation for his suspected involvement in 13 unlocked car burglaries, the New York Post reported Friday. "On the day of the burglary, the victim used another Xbox and saw his system was already online," Pelham Detective John Hynes said. "At the house, we found Xboxes, PlayStations, GPS units, laptops -- a total of 53 items, including stolen credit cards." Hynes said the items are believed to be from as many as 200 car break-ins and multiple home burglaries. Gilliam was arrested and charged with grand larceny.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: dstokes79 Re:Blog Hello Webby Rep, I'll would like to set up a new web site and blog for a very inexpensive cost. I juat di=on;t no where to begin. Can you help me. I already have my domain. Hi dstokes79 Just go to http://wordpress.com and register your blog. You need to have a name for it, choose a user name and a password. They will set it up and send you all the information and links on uploading and maintaining it. A Wordpress.com blog is very basic and simple, and allows you to get the experience needed to get into fancier blogs like the one at http://webby.com/humor/blog You don't need to have a web site of your own for a Wordpress.com blog, and there are many hundreds of eBooks available with detailed instructions and tips and tricks about Wordpres.com style blogs. Have FUN! DearWebby
The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain't go no crayons." "Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons.' You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?" "Not really," Willie said, "What happened to all them crayons that nobody ain't got?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Give Each Child Their Own Colored Towel Do less wash, buy each child a towel in their own color. When my 4 kids were growing up, I had a problem with them just throwing their bath towels onto the bathroom floor. I remedied this by buying each child their own towel in their own color. The rule was that they were each responsible for their own towel. They had to use the same towel all week long. I'd wash them all every Saturday. If I saw a towel on the floor, I knew who it belonged to. This not only stopped me from yelling about it, it also taught them to take care of their belongings. Believe me, you'll do whole lot less wash! By Cyinda from Seattle Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

When Gore put both feet in his mouth at the same time, he didn't really have a leg to stand on.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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1st Olympic Archway
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com

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