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It's Saturday, January 9, 2010


A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves. --- Edward R. Murrow
A nursery school teacher was telling her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free." One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said "I'm not free!" Taken aback by the boy's positive attitude, she said, "well, at your age I will admit that you are not allowed to do anything you want, but what I meant is that your family can do anything that is legal. Now, do you understand that you are free?" "No -- I'm NOT free," he said looking up defiantly, "I'm four!"
"I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at about three hundred pounds. "I don't want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time."
The Father, passing through the son's college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window. "Whattya want?" "Does Jimmy Duncan live here?" asked the father. "Yeah!", replied the voice. "Just dump him on the front porch as usual, and we'll sober him up in the morning."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Some people quite enjoy the end of the Gullible Warming ripple!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ryan Densmore, 22, of Wallingford, Conn., and Travis McKeaveney, 23, of Middletown, Conn. Lost crooks asked police for directions BRANFORD, Conn. (UPI) -- Police in Connecticut said two thieves were arrested after stopping to ask a police officer for directions back to the highway. Branford police said Ryan Densmore, 22, of Wallingford, Conn., and Travis McKeaveney, 23, of Middletown, Conn., took eight catalytic converters from the parking lots of several automotive businesses in Branford before stopping at about 4 a.m. to ask a police officer for directions to Interstate 91, WTNH-TV, New Haven, Conn., reported. "As the pair drove away, Officer Eula noticed that the rear license plate of the vehicle Densmore was operating was covered with some sort of material," Sgt. Gregory Watrous said. "The officer became suspicious and stopped the vehicle as it entered I-95." Watrous said police found the catalytic converters in the car, along with metal cutting saws and blades. "I knew that we had a group of thieves taking these items, I just figured that that may have been a little better organized and more intelligent," Chief John DeCarlo said. "Some criminals never cease to amaze me."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Jerry Re:Voting for more than one newsletter Hi Webby My Friend, Here's a question I've always have been wonderin' about... I vote for your page almost everyday from the EzlineFinder link... I then go to Ophelia Dingbatter's News page and read her daily humor and also "vote" for her page... I was just wondering if both votes count, due to the fact that after I vote for yours it will not let me vote again till after midnight... But I can still vote for her's ... Ya know what I mean, Do Both Votes Count ??? Thanks for keepin' us all in good sprites !!! ~~~~~Jerry~~~~~ Dear Jerry Yes, both votes count. If you simplify voting by registering, then you can click on FAVORITES in there, and add any number of newsletters to your Favorites. Then next time you come in to vote, it shows you the vote buttons for all your favorites, and you can click on them one after the other, all on the same page. AND, using that method, you don't have to worry about confirmation request emails. You take care of that by logging in. Since you can tell your browser to remember your log-in, that is no effort at all. Have FUN! DearWebby
A mother was teaching her four-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother. Then one night the child was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up to the end. "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail Amen. "
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cook for Other Families to Save Money To save money on groceries, you could find one or two families who you know are very busy and either eat out a lot or order in a lot. See if they would be interested in having you make meals for them. The key is they buy enough groceries to make enough for their family and yours. I find if you're making a meal anyways, it is very easy to double it. I personally make meals for two separate families. One family I will cook for two days a week and the second I will cook for the remaining three days, with the weekends being leftover days. Then on Fridays, I sit down and make up the menus for the coming week and the ingredient list for both families. They go buy the food and drop it off to me for the week. By Vicki from Nanaimo, B.C. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

I came across some notes from the days, when I was traveling around the Yukon a lot. Some were quite funny. From the granny in the "Scare North" parka (the stewardess): "They remembered to put the gas cap on today, so we won't be doing the usual circling back to the airport. Which is unfortunate, because they forgot to put the cap on the coffee thermos." And from the pilot during his message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... They will be on the next flight." One time in the 70s when they were still using their drafty see-through DC3 from Whitehorse to Dawson City, Dennis the pilot was in a serious looking conference with the stewardess and then came walking back, looking pointedly at the bright red toolcase on the floor between my feet and asked: "Does anybody by any chance have a 3/4" wrench?" I was on my way to fix a big generator and certainly did have all the wrenches with me. After I handed him a 3/4" wrench, he went back to the stewardess. She handed him a beer. In those days the beer still had crown-caps instead of screw-tops. He grabbed the bottle tighly around the neck with one hand, leveraged the wrench over his thumb and expertly popped the cap. Seems they had forgotten the bottle opener on that trip, and by the time we reached Dawson City the stewardess got pretty good at opening beer with a wrench.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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Georgina likes sitting in the park feeding the pigeons. One day she brought half a loaf of bread that had gone a bit moldy to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone. Then suddenly a man rained on her parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere, when there are a lot of people starving in Africa. After staring at him for a few seconds, she handed him the last chunk of bread and said: "Since you are so full of hot air and good advice, I'll let you take this to Africa"

Best time to buy
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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