How to resize digital pictures 

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It's Saturday, January 16, 2010

The gods too are fond of a joke. --- Aristotle If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much. --- Donald H. Rumsfeld A motion to adjourn is always in order. --- Robert Heinlein
An elderly couple were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Greg noticed something funny about Keli's ear and he said, "Keli, did you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Keli answered, "I have? A suppository?" She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, "Greg, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I know why my farts sound so loud."
My Grandmother is ninetyfive and still doesn't need glasses... She drinks straight out of the bottle.

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Maloy, 24 in Viera, Florida Peanutter VIERA, Fla. A 24-year-old man who has peanuts to blame for leading police to him pleaded guilty Monday to a robbery charge. Michael Maloy was sentenced to three years in prison and five years probation by Brevard Circuit Court Judge David Dugan. Maloy was captured on video Sept. 9, 2009, walking into the Walgreens store while snacking on seasoned peanuts. He approached a female clerk and told her to give him money from the cash register, officials said. Maloy, who was unarmed, tossed his head back and put a handful of nuts into his mouth, allowing the store's surveillance cameras to capture his face, officials said. He then ran out of the store, spilling some of the munchies on the floor before fleeing, officials said. Police later collected the peanuts for potential DNA evidence linking the incident to Maloy, and when Maloy was caught, he still had peanuts in his pocket. An undisclosed amount of cash was taken during the robbery, officials said. "Here's someone who over the last year or two has shown a propensity for criminal behavior up to the point where he progressed to robbery, a violent crime," said Yvonne Martinez, spokeswoman for the Palm Bay Police Department.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carolyn Re: Resizing pictures Dear Webby, Even though I've had a computer for about 15 years I call myself a self-taught illerate. I got the computer for email and to play games. I surf sometimes but don't use it for business. My question is about pictures. How do I make my digital camera pictures smaller to email? Right now the dimensions are 2048x1536 and are 1105K when I email one to myself. Isn't that to large to email several at a time? Can you help me please. And I love your vacation pictures and especially your Dad's pics. Carolyn Dear Carolyn For that you need a resizer or a graphics program. Resizers are just dumb. You put in the dimensions you want, and it will shrink the picture to that dimension. With a graphics program you can crop the picture. If the picture is for example 4000 x 3000 pixels, and you really just want the butterfly in the corner, and the result to be 640 x 480, then you use the cropping tool and stretch a 640x480 outline in that corner, and crop that. GIMP is probably the best of the free graphics tools. Paint Shop Pro from Corel is the most common among the paid ones, though Photoshop is pretty close, but a lot more expensive. Have FUN! DearWebby
"Mummy, tomorrow I have an oral exam. One question the teacher will ask me is "who made you?" What shall I say?" asked Little Johnny. "Say God made you." replied his mother. The next day, when the question came up, poor Little Johnny forgot what his mother had said, so he explained, "Teacher, until yesterday I was sure it was my father who made me. But then my mother said it was someone else - but I can't remember who it was."
Daily tip from Bagged Salads Bagged salad fixings are great, except they go bad so quickly due to excess moisture in the bag. To extend your salad greens' life, open the bag once you get home, place a paper towel inside and then close with a bag clip. The paper towel absorbs the extra moisture. This gives salad about an extra week. By Morganna from Anderson, IN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

A big-city counterfeiter decided the best place to pass off his phony $18 bills would be in some small "hick town." So, he got into his very expensive new luxury car and off he went. After driving for a while, he found a tiny town with a single store. He entered the store and handed one of the bogus bills to the man behind the counter. "Can you change this for me, please?" he asked. The store clerk looked at the $18 bill for a short time, then smiled and said to the man, "Ah reckon so, Mister. Ya want 2 nines or 3 sixes?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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"I'm ashamed of the way we live," a young wife said to her lazy husband who refused to find a job. "My father pays our rent. My mother buys all of our food. My sister buys our clothes. My aunt bought us a car. I'm just so ashamed." The husband rolled over on the couch. "You *should* be ashamed," he agreed. "Those two worthless brothers of yours never give us a cent."

Painted feathers
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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