Audio Recorder 

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It's Tuesday, January 19, 2010

You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty. --- Cecil Baxter Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. --- Leo Rosten
"My wooden leg was hurting me something fierce last night," complained Art. "That's impossible," said his neighbour, "How can a wooden leg hurt you?" Art replied, "My old lady hit me over the head with it a dozen times when I came home drunk."
A salesman was trying to talk a farmer into buying a bicycle, but was meeting with considerable sales resistance. "Shucks, I'd sooner spend my money on a cow," said the farmer. "Ah," replied the salesman, "but think how silly you'd look riding around on a cow." "Humph!" retorted the farmer. "Not near as silly as you would look trying to milk a bicycle!"
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: There is a butterfly hiding in there!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Charles Jesse Johnson, 40, of Perry, Florida Driver with deputy behind him runs red light DESTIN -- A man sitting at a red light on Christmas Day turned left before the light changed, despite the fact that an Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office deputy was sitting behind him. The two were sitting at the light on U.S. Highway 98 and Matthew Blvd. The deputy initiated a traffic stop and found the driver, 40-year-old Charles Jesse Johnson of Perry, in the back seat. He had jumped in there when the vehicle came to a stop, according to his arrest report. The deputy checked the man's driving history and found out that his license had been revoked in June, and that he also had seven other suspensions and four other revocations. He was again charged with driving with a revoked license as a habitual traffic offender.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Arturas Re: Audio recorder Dear Webby; Any suggestions other than plain Googling for a free programme to record streaming music from the internet? I know you have addressed this in previous letters but I cannot find it in the four years of letters on my computer, didn't find where your archive is searchable for specific terms, did not see such a programme in your tools box. I tend too be leary of using any programme at random off the internet, which is why I am asking. Have fun, Arturas Dear Arturas I have used Audacity for years. It will record any sound, even from tele-seminars, conferences, Skype Voice Calls, Internet Radio, etc. You can even edit and delete boring portions of the recording. The archive searcher in the blog (archive) is near the bottom. The one near the top is for searching on the web. Have FUN! DearWebby
An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up. He said, "I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what's wrong with me." "Let's begin with a few questions," said the doctor, "Do you drink much?" "Alcohol?" said the man. "I'm a teetotaler. Never touch a drop." "How about smoking?" asked the doctor. "Never," replied the man. "Tobacco is bad, and I have strong principles against it." "Well, uh." asked the doctor, "do you have much sex life?" "Oh, no," said the man. "Sex is sin. I'm in bed by 9:30 every night and I always have been." The doctor paused, looked at the man hard, and asked, "Do you have pains in your head?" "Yes," said the man. "I have terrible pains in my head." "O.K.," said the doctor. "That's your trouble. Your halo is on too tight!!
Daily tip from Use a Baby Bottle Nipple for Transferring Liquids When you need to transfer something from a larger bottle to a smaller one, I use an old baby bottle nipple. I cut the hole bigger and in most cases, the larger bottle opening fits in just right. Works every time! By Sandra from Salem OR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

In the dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights. Dousing and bombarding one another with water from squirt guns, glasses, balloons, even wastebaskets. Since each room had a sink, there was endless ammunition. The most frequent target was the resident assistant. Approaching his room one afternoon, he noticed his door was ajar. Looking up, he saw a pail of water balanced on the door's edge, ready to fall on him. As he took down the pail and emptied it into his sink, he thought, 'Those idiots actually thought they could fool me with that old gag!' It was then, that he realized, that "those idiots" had removed the drainpipe beneath the sink and turned the "U" shaped part of it to point just below his waistline.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
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A tourist parked his car in downtown Washington, D.C. He said to a man standing near the curb, "Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?" "What?" the man huffed. "Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?" "Well no," the tourist said, "I didn't realize that. Guess I better find somebody more respectable and trustworthy."

Water Drop
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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