How to write bats? 

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It's Saturday, January 23, 2010

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces. --- Maureen Murphy
Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news program. He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year. That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired. He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position. Hopkins wrote, "The climate didn't agree with me."
Two Cajun commercial fishermen, Boudreaux & Thibodeaux, went out in the Gulf fishing. They were gone a couple of months. On their return, they noticed a Taco Bell had been built while they were away. Boudreaux turns to Thibodeaux and says "Sacri Bleu! Look it dat! You run over a fone pole an it takes 9 mons ta get Southern Bell ta put in a new pole an fix da fone. We go fish a bit, an dem Mexicans done come over here an build a whole telifone company!"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Myesha Williams, 20, of Deland, Florida Robber complains about being shown on the news DELAND -- Two women suspected of robbing a beauty supply store showed up at the DeLand police station wanting to know why they were shown on news reports, a sheriff's spokesman said Tuesday night. "At 8 p.m. the two women in the video went to the DeLand police station saying they had seen themselves on the news and they wanted to know what is going on," sheriff's spokesman Brandon Haught said. A sheriff's deputy then escorted the women to the sheriff's District 2 Office and an investigator interviewed them, Haught said. It was determined that Myesha Williams, 20, was the one who robbed the store, Haught said. Williams was charged with strong arm robbery and retail theft, Haught said. The other woman, whose identity was not available late Tuesday night, was not charged because she had left the store when Williams confronted the store employee, he said. According to investigators, the women were in Isis Beauty Supply & Accessories on East New York Avenue on Friday at 5:31 p.m. when a worker saw the women look at hairpieces and suspected they might be shoplifting, Haught said. The worker confronted the two and one of the women walked toward the exit and left the store. But Williams headed to the cash register, said she had a gun and asked for money, Haught said. The suspects then left the store with an unknown amount of money and about $150 in beauty supplies, Haught said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Benny Re: How do you write bat files? Dear Webby, You mentioned turning that tedious command into a bat file. How do you do that? Benny Dear Benny Open a new plain text file with NoteMaid, Notepad or any plain text editor. Save it as, for example, bat1.bat and make sure that Notepad does not add .txt at the end of it. Let's assume that you want to take the Read-Only attributes off the files in C:\alpha\Eudora and it's sub-directories In the file write @echo off echo working.... attrib -R -S -H /S C:\Alpha\Eudora\*.* pause exit Save that, and make a shortcut icon to it. The "working..." tells you that it is working. The pause asks you to hit any key before it closes. In case there is a problem, like for example a typo in the name of the directory, where you want to take the Read-Only, System, and Hidden attributes off, that error will be shown above the "Hit any key to contonue" message. Once you have it working right, you can delete that line with the pause, but until you get comfortable with bats, it's a good idea to add it above the exit. That's all there is to it. There are lots of commands like the attrib. You can for example copyt all JPG files from one location to another, or move them, etc. Just look up DOS commands or ask me. Have FUN! DearWebby
Success is relative - the more success, the more relatives.
Daily tip from Use Sandbox Sand in the Garden When I was recently shopping at a well known kitchen ware shop, I found the grater I wanted with a slightly bent handle. At the checkout, I asked for the item to be discounted because of the handle, and it was the only one. 10% was taken off the whole price. I do this on a regular basis especially if the item is the last one or there is any visible damage. This is especially applicable if you are paying cash. Always be extremely polite, remember they are doing you a favor. You'll be surprised who will discount. My son who is in the military always asks for the military discount and he gets it. Don't be afraid to ask for the discount. By Morganna from Anderson, IN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the list, you can vote for it here:

Ever have one of those days? Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on? He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up quite a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on- this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them." She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Finally that task was accomplished and she asked him, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed them in the toes of my boots."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

Toothpick Art
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from

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