How to write bats?

<!--
//-->

Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, January 23, 2010

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is
too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.
--- Maureen Murphy

Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a terrible record
of forecasting for the TV news program. He became something of a local
joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and
showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year.
That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired.
He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One
blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous
position.
Hopkins wrote, "The climate didn't agree with me."

Two Cajun commercial fishermen, Boudreaux & Thibodeaux, went out in
the Gulf fishing. They were gone a couple of months. On their return, they
noticed a Taco Bell had been built while they were away. Boudreaux turns
to Thibodeaux and says "Sacri Bleu! Look it dat! You run over a fone pole
an it takes 9 mons ta get Southern Bell ta put in a new pole an fix da fone.
We go fish a bit,  an dem Mexicans done come over here an build a whole
telifone company!"

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
goes to Myesha Williams, 20, of Deland, Florida

Robber complains about being shown on the news
DELAND -- Two women suspected of robbing a beauty supply store
showed up at the DeLand police station wanting to know why they
were shown on news reports, a sheriff's spokesman said Tuesday night.

"At 8 p.m. the two women in the video went to the DeLand police station
saying they had seen themselves on the news and they wanted to know
what is going on," sheriff's spokesman Brandon Haught said.

A sheriff's deputy then escorted the women to the sheriff's District 2 Office
and an investigator interviewed them, Haught said.

It was determined that Myesha Williams, 20, was the one who robbed the
store, Haught said.

Williams was charged with strong arm robbery and retail theft, Haught said.
The other woman, whose identity was not available late Tuesday night, was
not charged because she had left the store when Williams confronted the
store employee, he said.

According to investigators, the women were in Isis Beauty Supply &
Accessories on East New York Avenue on Friday at 5:31 p.m. when a
worker saw the women look at hairpieces and suspected they might be
shoplifting, Haught said. The worker confronted the two and one of the
women walked toward the exit and left the store. But Williams headed to
the cash register, said she had a gun and asked for money, Haught said.

The suspects then left the store with an unknown amount of money and
about \$150 in beauty supplies, Haught said.

From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Benny
Re: How do you write bat files?

Dear Webby,
You mentioned turning that tedious command into a bat file.
How do you do that?
Benny

Dear Benny
Open a new plain text file with NoteMaid, Notepad or any plain text editor.
Save it as, for example, bat1.bat
and make sure that Notepad does not add .txt at the end of it.
Let's assume that you want to take the Read-Only attributes off
the files in C:\alpha\Eudora and it's sub-directories
In the file write

@echo off
echo working....
attrib  -R -S -H /S C:\Alpha\Eudora\*.*
pause
exit

Save that, and make a shortcut icon to it.
The "working..." tells you that it is working.
The pause asks you to hit any key before it closes.
In case there is a problem, like for example a typo in the name of
the directory, where you want to take the Read-Only, System,
and Hidden attributes off, that error will be shown above the
"Hit any key to contonue" message.

Once you have it working right, you can delete that line with the pause,
but until you get comfortable with bats, it's a good idea to

That's all there is to it. There are lots of commands like the attrib.
You can for example copyt all JPG files from one location to
another, or move them, etc. Just look up DOS commands

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Success is relative - the more success,
the more relatives.

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Use Sandbox Sand in the Garden
When I was recently shopping at a well known kitchen ware shop,
I found the grater I wanted with a slightly bent handle. At the
checkout, I asked for the item to be discounted because of the
handle, and it was the only one. 10% was taken off the whole price.
I do this on a regular basis especially if the item is the last one or
there is any visible damage.

This is especially applicable if you are paying cash. Always be
extremely polite, remember they are doing you a favor. You'll be
surprised who will discount. My son who is in the military always
asks for the military discount and he gets it. Don't be afraid to ask
for the discount.
By Morganna from Anderson, IN

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Ever have one of those days? Did you hear about the teacher who was
helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on? He asked for
help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots
still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked
up quite a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said,
"Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the
boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as
together they worked to get the boots back on- this time on the right feet.
He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,
"Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to.
Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then
said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them."

She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to
wrestle the boots on his feet again. Finally that task was accomplished
He said, "I stuffed them in the toes of my boots."

Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said,
"Now don't get mad at me.....I know we've been friends for a long
time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and
glared at her. Finally she said,
"How soon do you need to know?"

»  Toothpick Art

ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the
Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:

Please give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter

Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com



[ view entry ] ( 183 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 1082 )

<<First <Back | 111 | 112 | 113 | 114 | 115 | 116 | 117 | 118 | 119 | 120 | Next> Last>>